Source: The Hitavada      Date: 10 Oct 2017 11:57:41

By kumar zilpelwar,

“I will study and get ready... Some day my chance will come.”
--Abraham Lincoln

I was searching for meaning of a word in a dictionary, a word which is very common, a word which is close to every human being on this earth, a word which implicates closeness; a word which brings smile on your lips...The word is Friend. My mobile dictionary says, a friend is someone who you know well but who is not related to you.

Let us equate our life with a set of long sentences. If you see construction of long sentences, it has multiple commas to enhance the meaning of words. A comma actually does not halt the sentence, but it gives necessary pause to emphasise and enhance the meaning of a part of sentence. Evenly life has certain commas, which I have termed them as failures...Failures are not the full stops - it is just a comma; just a pause which merely means ...Wait, your turn is yet to come. I think many times when life offers you failure; it is a test as to how you react to the situations. In case of failures either you break down or break the records...choice lies with us, let us choose our option wisely. It takes efforts to break the records, however it is easy to break down and gather the sympathy.

Somebody who is going through a bad patch and phase of failure may rebound on this and say, it is very easy for you to say and write ...ask me how difficult it is to go through and digest. Failure mostly produces an impulse which is not positive. It is like insect bite, pinches like hell in the beginning and cools down after some time. You have to keep some patience to tolerate it.

For me life is 10% of action and 90% of reaction. I have tried to imbibe this point many times through my training programmes on various subjects. If you think on this bunch of words, you will understand, how true it is. Mind well, many times actions are not under your control however reactions are under your own control or for the matter reactions only are under your control. Your reaction reveals your state of mind.

How people react on failure? I am just giving few answers, may one of is yours…It is the end of it...It is the end of all...It is the end of world for me...complete darkness...No hopes...Now; I can’t do anything in life...Why always me? And last and the most important, the biggest syndrome called LKK (Log kya kahenge) Now, I can’t show my face to any one because everyone else is successful in life …I am unlucky, people are more luckier than me.

If these are your reactions, I request you to ask any successful elderly person in your vicinity, s/he will tell you, that the journey of life cannot be completed without facing the failures. Few days back I just came to know about the selection criteria of the Australian Cricket team. Australian Board chooses only those players who has failed in life.. seems different? They believe that if you have failed in life, then only you can develop the ability to bounce back and standing up again. Failures are the part of life, failure is a bend and not the end.

Abraham Lincoln, when became President of USA in 1860, he has to wait for long 32 years. He lost his first election in 1832 and then had series of failures before reaching to this highest honour. For all these years, he says, he was studying and preparing himself for this highest position.

Thomas Alva Edison, could invent the bulb in his tenth thousand experiment, when asked about his opinion he answered, I know nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine ways in which bulbs cannot be made. The statements itself shows the reactions of this great man on his own failures. To this person, his failures became his energy, power to move ahead in life. Failure is not that you fall down; failure is that if you refuse to get up.

Looking back in my own life and looking in to many others...I was thinking, can failures be treated as true friend? I have found a similarity between these two words...Both help you to grow. A true friend always wishes and helps you to grow and off course failures when taken in right perspective helps you to grow. Accept that you have failed, Understand that failing is not a big deal, know that there is always a next chance…Develop a concept of Plan A & Plan B. Failure makes you know well about yourself. Friends keep helping you to know yourself, by pointing at your flaws.

Just recall the Cricket World Cup - 2011, Indians lost their last league match. After winning the prestigious World Cup after long 28 years, cool and composed captain of Indian team, M S Dhoni said, It was good that we lost in league, that has cheered my boys and today you can see the result. The right perspective to deal with failure.

Have courage to face, be open hearted and most importantly remember...there is always next chance. (Lincoln, Edison) and avoid falling prey to LKK. Mind well this is your own life, ‘others’ have little role to play in it and failing is not a big deal.

This week onwards, give a thought to your own preparation and methods. Commit yourself to prepare one more time with alternate methods and designs so that when life has to offer you a chance, you can grab it and move confidently in the directions of your objective and goal. Enjoy the week with changed attitude.

How can I end this article without mentioning the all time hit lines by Dr Harivanshrai Bachchan,
Lehron ke dar se nauka par nahi hoti,
Koshish karne walon ki, kabhi har nahi hoti.
(The author is a Corporate Trainer)