Clear the clutter from your mind

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 29 Oct 2017 14:40:18











I am 21 years old. I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. I tried quitting it, but I am not able to. I even steal money from my parents and my girlfriend's purse. I am scared that everyone will hate me for my problem. Please help me.

 Ans. I hope your family is aware of your addiction and if not please inform them at the earliest. They could then admit you to a hospital or a de-addiction centre for a week or ten days. Along with the detoxification process done by doctors you would need counselling and psychotherapy for your mind and behaviour. Do not be scared of the treatment process, actually it is a simple and effective method of treatment. you may not succeed if you tried to give it all by yourself without professional help. If you could have given it up by now you would have done it. So go ahead without wasting much time. –


I am a 22-year-old CA student. I am very depressed over my studies as I can’t concentrate. Whenever I open a book, I phase out and I can’t understand a single word. I keep on thinking about failures. My exams are close and I want to make my parents proud. Please help me with it.

Ans. Please be sure that you have the right aptitude for doing CA because it is a professional degree course and needs a high aptitude in that field. If it is a wrong choice, it would be best to give it up and choose the best career option for you. An aptitude test would help in assessment of your ability and a discussion would help in guiding you in the right direction. If there are other distractions then you should focus on removing them and clearing your mind of all the clutter and get going with studies with full concentration.


Anonymous Q.

I am 21years old and in a relationship with a guy since two years. But it is a complicated relationship. He has a girl in his friend circle, who loves him. Though he refused her proposal, he continues to be her friend. There is another girl in the same circle with whom he had a fling. He broke up with her, but still remains friends. But now, these girls are troubling me. I have to face them everyday in college. Though I asked my BF to quit being their friend, he refuses to do so. I am mentally disturbed and tried to end my relationship. But my BF is not letting that happen too. When I asked him to choose between me and his friends, he asked me to adjust. I have been adjusting since a long time, but it is too much to take for me. Please advice.

Ans. This is a strange situation truly. He seems to be an overly extroverted person who states bluntly that ‘he cannot break his friendship with anyone because of you’. This statement by itself is a hurting one and indicates the importance of your friendship in his mind. His friends are obviously very important to him and he will continue with this type of behaviour all his life. You might be also important to him but he will not sacrifice anything for you is clear. So now the decision lies with you whether you can tolerate this type of position in his life or not. If you cannot tolerate this low value ascribed to you and your relationship with him, please re-think your status and your future with him. If you think you can grant him this freedom with his friends, old and new friends, whether they are girls or boys, then you could continue with him. Many time people with highly extroverted traits and high degree of need for independence have poor family values and can be troublesome for a girl who is looking for a future with a stable family and stable relationship. First think deeply about it and then you may convey it to him that it does not suit your personality to continue with a relationship in such conditions. You could see his reaction then. If he is serious about you, he will try to change his ways or he will choose to leave you.