Save girls from seduction by adults

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 16 Jul 2017 12:20:50


Q. It seems my friend is involved with some person who
is above 50 years in age. She is just 19. He comes to her
home regularly. He is married. She often goes with him
forlongdrives.Herparentsbelievehimblindly.Shepassed
her 12th standard with 53%. She scored 92.8% in 10th
standard. She aims to take medical field. She lost her year
because of this person. Now, she wants to take a drop and
repeat her medical entrance exam. She doesn't want to listen to anybody. I am worried she might lose her this year also. Is her life in danger? Please help.
Ans. Yes, she is in danger of damaging her mind, body and
soul and curse be on the old man who is exploiting her. If she
is young and foolish he seems to be an unscrupulous fellow
who is bothered only about his needs. There are many stories
of mid-age adultsabusing /seducingyoung girls eitherathome,
in tuition classes or in institutions and leaving them traumatised.
Parents should be alert to non-verbal signals and pay
moreattentiontotheirchildren.Herparentsneedtobeinformed
about it, he needs to be thrown out of their house permanently
and she needs to be counselled to go back to studies. The situation
needs to be handled on an urgent basis.
Anonymous
Q. My elder brother is obsessed with his looks. He is 42
years old. His questions are not normal- Is blood flowing
normally? Is shape of my forehead normal? He has been
visiting number of doctors since a year. It feels he is taking
some psychiatric medicine, but he never shares this
with anyone. Since childhood he has phobia for lizards.
Nowadays, it is increasing and is affecting his lifestyle.
How to get him out of this kind of obsession? Please help.
Ans. For obsessive compulsive disorders both counselling aswell as medicine is helpful. Just medicine may not be affective.
For every mental illness/ disturbance counselling handles other areas of behavioural dysfunction whereas medicines have a limited role. Both should go parallel to each other.
Anonymous
Q. I am a student of Std 12. I am facing a lot of problems
in my home. My younger sister is very noisy and
irritating and does not study at all. She constantly fights
with my mother and makes excuses to study and shouts
a lotwhenever told to study.This is affecting her seriously
because she recently had an operation and the doctor has
advised her to ensure that she does not have high blood
pressure. Apart from that, my parents often indulge in
heated arguments. There is a very big rivalry between my
grandmother and mother which is seriously affecting the
peace in the family. At the same time I have external pressure to get good results in the exams. How should I deal with these family matters? Please guide me.
Ans. The best thing for you to do is to focus on your studies as a priority. The studies are serious in 12th and all your energies may be diverted to it.Join a library or a reading roomwhere you can sit and study after classes since the home atmosphere is not congenial. Let your parents handle your sister and her tantrums for you cannot be a parent to her.You could only be good to her whenever you get some time with her and keep her
in good cheer.You could tell your mother and granny that their arguments is disturbing you and may affect your results negatively.
Wonder why they cannot control their emotional conflicts
and keep the atmosphere healthy.The same thing may be
affecting your sister too. Focus onyour studies and do not interfere with family matters.

■ By RITA AGGARWAL

(Consulting Psychologist)
Save girls from seduction by adults
The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts,
Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 7719975840, 2220250 and
2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected]
and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)