Face the challenge

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 27 Aug 2017 12:12:53




Q.I am 21 years old and the only earning member of my family. My father is unemployed since last one year and hence I have to work to support my family as we have a loan of 20 lakh. I had a fight with my best friend and we are not on talking terms anymore. I am suffering from stress, depression and other health issues and I don't have anyone to share this with. My main problem is that my family members don't understand me. I work all day and after coming home I have to do all the household chores. I get very tired at the end of the day. Despite doing all this, I am not appreciated for what I do. My parents believe me incapable to achieve anything in life, and they also use abusive language with me. I wish to do PG, but I cannot do as I have to work. My entire salary is taken away by my mother for daily needs and I am left with nothing. My family and relatives are now pressuring me to marry a guy who is approx 10 years elder to me just because he is rich and will turn around our financial conditions. I don't want to marry him. If I take a stand and speak up, I always end up apologising. I am totally lost and confused. I’m afraid of the future. Please reply soon.

 Ans. This is a terribly unfortunate situation for you. You must be a very brave girl to work at home and job and then be dominated too by your own mother. It baffles me to know that she can be abusive too and also interested in marrying you off to a rich but older guy who might have agreed to pay off the loan. Perhaps you could meet the guy once at least and see if he is a kind and caring fellow. Tell him you would like to study further and he may agree. If you are lucky he might treat you well and solve all your problems. You would be safe and secure after facing so many hardships. If you feel he is unkind and insensitive then run away from home and work in another city. You may like to warn your parents with the threat and then follow it. Or else just do it. Another way to go get married to a boy of your choice and leave this home. Your parents must learn to respect you and your contribution. God bless you.


I like a girl since childhood and she is very friendly with me too. We are both in junior college. Recently, she told me her feelings and we both went out for movies and outings. My parents caught us and we both got a big thrashing. My parents have big expectations from me and I want to make a very good career. We are good students and want to rise higher in life. We have high dreams and she motivates me to do well in life. I do better when I talk to her and feel relaxed. I cannot stop talking to her and get away. My parents are keeping a strict watch on me and that is disturbing me. I cannot concentrate and I’m afraid of messing up entrance test to a good college, for which my parents will blame my friendship and that girl. All this is depressing me. Please help me. She is also upset and misses me.

Ans. This is a challenge for you to stay calm and prove your worth to yourself and to your friendship. Tell her to stay calm and concentrate on her studies. Reaffirm your friendship to her and tell her to face this challenge bravely. If you continue to do well your parents belief in you will get reinforced and they will soften their stance. Once you are both in college you can restart your friendship. Sometimes it is good for the friendship to face the test of time and obstacles and emerge stronger. This is just a phase and not the end of the story. It is like a ‘break’ or an interval in a story! Cheer up! All is not lost my dear! Prove your worth too.