The very God-fearing me!

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 30 Aug 2017 11:59:57



By Biraj Dixit,

God-fearing, am I? Oh, absolutely.
I fear nothing more than God. He is great. He is omnipotent and omniscient and He is hardly going to find a more intense devotee than myself. One look from the sky and I am the one He is bound to see. Such is my devotion.

Of course, I do not go by age-old stories. I mean I can’t imagine that in the finality of everything when I would come face-to-face with God and His book keeper would announce, “she is the one who wrote those horrid pieces just like that”, He in his His wisdom would say, “burn her in the hot oil”. I mean, the world is still going and so its Keeper definitely has to have a sense of humour. But with God one can never be sure, so I keep apologising amidst all the eulogies to keep Him in good humour, just in case...!

I do fear God. Absolutely. If you need to see my utmost devotion, come and visit my place. Lord Ganesha, the great Lord of wisdom, is here and I am devotion personified. My prayers are the loudest. My offerings are grandest. My attention to details is finest. The songs that are being ‘aired’ in praise of the deity can turn anyone deaf with jealously. The grandeurs of my decoration seem to pale the heavens. My Lord is a wise one not to be tempted by such display, but just in case…

Some do detest the display of wealth but I say you offer your finest to the Lord. In our private, daily puja, my Lord does not mind little omissions but when my devotion is about to be viewed and analysed by human eyes, I must be at my best. The silverware, the ‘prasad’, the opulence may not tempt the Lord but it sure has an effect upon His children. So we try to keep his children amused as well. Just in case…

Would you believe it, some very argumentative cynic had the courage to ask me if God likes it so much why not do it daily? Uff! Imagine him expecting me to prepare all the prasad, keep my silverware for puja and do the grand decorations daily! There is a thing called time. God does not ask for more than a few seconds of your time. It is only during the grand festivals, when you are being watched are you supposed to splurge time and money. Keeping my beautiful silverwares out at the mercy of maid, is he out of his mind? I know God is watching all the time but He is hardly stopping anybody, is He?

Oh! I perform puja and rituals daily, mind you. But those are very private one-to-one between me and my Lord. He does not mind simplicity at all. A missing something, a hurried someone, He adjusts. The All-forgiving even forgives intrusions upon His time. Oh! He understands. What can a woman do when in the urgency to devote herself to the eulogies of the Lord, she forgets the milk on the gas. God can be patient. Simmering milk, burning vessel and always irritated maid won’t.

So, now do you see that I fear God? Do not drag me into the debate of whether I am God-loving or God-fearing. I am both. Within me, one sentiment is complementary to the other. Oh, how I detest arguments! Wise men toe the line. Traditions say the line has come from God Himself. Traditions do not lie. These intellectuals can heap pages and pages of historical data urging for scientific approach and logical thinking, but that’s a lot of hard work. At the end of the day, I am just another Indian who loves to believe. There may be merits in all arguments, but I toe the line, just in case…

But I am God-fearing. I am an absolute believer. Anybody uttering anything about God has my belief. Our great traditions of great Gods emphasise on having great gurus too. And since they speak to me about my God, they themselves appear God-like to me. The evil, that the media is, it has turned man of God into Godman. I care the least about what they say.

I only hear what my faith says. It has spoken to me, it has told me to wage a holy war. And here I am, burning this vehicle. I know my mother taught me never to harm anybody. My father would have been so angry seeing me set things afire. “It takes nothing to destroy and enormous hard work to create,” he would say. But my faith tells me to set everything on fire. And I am a follower. I know this makes no sense, but just in case..l