A stitch in time saves nine

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 10 Sep 2017 10:48:36


■ By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) A stitch in time saves nine The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 7719975840, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)

JuFo. Q. I am in XII standard. I know that I am not studying and when I sit to study lot of thoughts come into my mind and I am unable to study. Less than four months are left for the preparations for board exam. Please help. I am in a relationship too. Will it affect my studies.

Ans. Itwould be important to knowwhattype of thoughts come toyourmind.Are you obsessed about something and are the thoughts repetitive innature. Are they related to your relationship or to your studies or something else? If you can identify the nature of the thoughts andwhy they are comingwe can help youget rid of them with counselling. Relationships can be a boon or bane depending upon how you manage them and the effect it has on you.

If it helps you concentrate and be positive with your life and studies you may continue it and if it acts as a distraction and a source of stress, you could think of ending it or suspending it tillexams areover. Analyse it objectively and make a decision. A session of counselling will help you overcome your negative thoughts. G.P

Q. My boards are coming closer and I am losing interest in studies. My main problem is English language as I was in Hindi medium till 5 std and then my parents put me in English medium school. I was in a small town and now I am in a city and I do not like the school. I don’t havemanyfriends and I don’t like the relatives I am staying with. They are nice people but I cannot adjust with them.

Ans.Adjustmentssuchastheonesyouareundergoingaretough to make and can stress you enough. Shifting to a new city from a small town, staying with relatives you don’t want to, converting to a new medium of instructions at middle school and not having friends enough to support you is big task to take on at your age. If you are a shy person and an introvert, then the problem becomes compounded. So many adjustments atso many fronts is a difficult proposition for anyone and more so for an introvert and shy person. You should work on a priority basis and first concentrate on your English language. Passing the exams with good marks will be a good thing for you. Forget all other problems and don’t care for anything except your proficiency in English. That will help you the most as that was the goal of shifting you to a city for better prospects. The other problems can be dealt with later one by one. You can solve all the issues with time. All the best. Cheer up and do well. ML

Q. My child has started stammering in 2nd Std and he was fine before that. He is not telling me the problem when I ask him the reasons. He is a shy child and speaks less always. He likes to play and is a happy child.Why he has started stammering is upsetting me. Should I bring him for counselling?

Ans. It seems like an emotional upset of some sort as the onset of stammering is recent and has not been there since the beginning of the child’s speech. This needs looking into and can be rectified with counselling. If he is a shy child he may not be able to explain his conditions and his emotional problems but you could look into some areas. The first could be problem with peers in class orwithseniorchildreninschool,suchas,bullyingorteasingbecause of his shyness.

The second area could be his studies and of he is facing the beginning of some learning difficulties such as reading, writing, speaking, grammar, maths or any other area. Such difficulties and the reaction of the teacher towards it can spark of stammering and other emotional upsets.Yes, you should bring him for counselling soon enough as it will help resolve the problem soon enough otherwise it can escalate. A stitch in time saves nine as they say. But do not worry for he will be fine soon