Expand the circle of relations

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 24 Sep 2017 11:01:13

Q. I'm a student of class XI from Bhilai. I want to pursue a career as a singer in English music, abroad. I take Hindi vocal classes and can sing well, but I want to become an English singer as I'm more passionate about English music. Should I go for it? Please guide me.

Ans. This is a good question but without your background how do you expect me to reply. My natural reaction would be ‘do what you like and become whatever you like’. ‘It is your life and your future and if your parents will support you in your endeavour go for it’. The question becomes crucial if there is a conflict or doubt in your mind of the choice and its consequences or when your parents oppose your wish for reasons known to them. If all iswell and you are determinedwho should stop you? Taking Hindi vocal classes is a good step for it trains your voice to sing in a particular way but English songs will need a different type of training. Nevertheless, it is seen that a skilled trained artist can quickly pick up other genres. If everything is infavour you should go for it without doubts in your mind. All the best in your endeavour. E G

Q. I am a 25-year-old Engineering Services aspirant, deeply in lovewith a 26-year-old girlwho ismyclassmate and we plan to marry. She is mature and wants me to pursuemydream of becoming ES. But I behave childishly and always want her around me. I can't stay away from her, so much that I’ve drifted away from my family. I know everything, seriousness of building a good career, but I’m unable to stop myself. I’m always fearful of losing her to someone else. Please help.

Ans. You seem to have a lot of insight into your behaviour and itsweaknesses.This awareness of your plus points and negative points is a good indication of your self-image. So, all you have to do is to work on your weaknesses and strengthen your positives. Believe in yourself and also trust your girl-friend that she will be faithful to you. Let go of your fear for it is of no use, it acts in a negative way for it makes you behave in undesirable ways. Keep in touch with your family, it is important to maintain old family bond even when you build new bonds in your life. You need to balance your behaviour and not go overboard with your passions. We don’t break up with the family when you find your mate. In fact, when you add more people in your life, you expand the circle of relatives, and not shrink it. A session or two of counselling may help in understanding and developing a matured outlook and behaviour in life. All the best to you. ST

Q.My sister is 15-years-old. She has bad habits. Although she used to eat 'mitti' from childhood, she has not quit eating it even now. Due to this her body is not developing perfectly. I and my father are worried about this, as we fear that this has damaged her stomach.Though my mother used to punish and restrain her from eating dirt, it is all in vain. Please tell us what to do.

Ans. Such a habit could also be due to some deficiency in her body such as iron and zinc, or an emotional disturbance, besides the habit that she is developed over long years. Please get her thoroughly examined by a good physician and get some tests done. She could be treated properly by a medical doctor and that may rid her of her bad habit of eating mud even at this age. If this does not help eventually you can bring her for counselling and we can change her habits

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By RITA AGGARWAL
(Consulting Psychologist)
Expand the circle of relations
The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 7719975840, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)