Go and adopt a child

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 14 Jan 2018 11:34:14




Q. I am 21 years old female. I like one guy. He seems to like to me first and used to text me and call me all the time. He made me feel special and gave me lot of attention. But now he is acting distant and weird. I am scared if something happens to him. He even said he has anxiety issues and hard time sleeping. I think he needs professional help to be normal again. Please advise.

Ans. If he needs professional help and is acting weird and expresses anxiety issues, I think you should bring him over for a consultation. If he is in need you must help him and find out the problem. As a good friend you owe him a good deed in return. If he declines your help then you could try informing his parents about it. The last choice would be to leave him alone after that and to reassure him that you would be there for him if he wants your help. Sometimes you have no other choice left but to accept things as they are. And leave him to his fate. Keep a watch on him.

Q. I am 24 years old man. I have an elder sister who is caring and lovely. She has a boyfriend who is divorced. I f eel that the guy is manipulating my sister for money and even getting physical. He always calls my sister in the middle of the night and my sister goes to meet him. I feel hatred towards that guy. I want to beat him up, but I don’t want to ruin my relation with my sister. I don’t want to lose my sister because of this stupid stuff. I care about my sister. I feel lost and very powerless. Please help me or I will go crazy.

Ans. This is a tricky situation. When your sister is strongly bonded with him how will you change her feelings for the guy. I can understand your feelings of hate for the guy for in your eyes he is exploiting your sister in some ways. Try talking calmly and logically to your sister to find out why she is holding on to the guy and what benefits she draws out of the relationship. She will offer some explanation which you must listen carefully. Your sister is a grown up girl and has her own sense of wisdom and decision making. You could share with her your own doubts and fears and anxieties about the ‘evil’ intentions about the guy but leave the decision to her. Tell her and assure her of all help in case she needs it at any point of time. That way she will be safe with your support and love and concern. You cannot play a bigger or better role than this. She might be right in her judgement about him or if she fails then she will learn from her bad experience. We hope she succeeds in her love.

Q. I am 34 years old female. Few years before, I had a miscarriage and after that doctors told I cannot have babies. I love kids. After getting married I always wanted to have my own kid. My husband is very supportive and understanding. He is fine with me even if we don’t have kid. People suggest me to adopt a child from orphanage but I don’t want to do that because I know I won’t be able to love him like my own kid. Please tell me what I should do.

Ans. Of course, the best option is to adopt a baby and nurture it as your own. You could adopt an infant of few months in age. When there is a medical difficulty and your chances are slim for a natural born child, adoption is a boon and a blessing. There are so many abandoned and orphaned babies who need a home and you need a child to care for. You must seek counselling to overcome your mental fears and blocks about adoption and then go ahead before it is too late. Adoption rules specify an age for adoptive parents and there is a ceiling to it. Do not delay too much in this case. Or go with your husband about not having a child at all but that seems to be the last option for you considering your love for babies. The world is full of happy stories about adoptive parents and the adopted child. Some couples adopt more than one child and make a great home for all of them. Fulfil your need to be a parent.














By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Go and adopt a child The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 7719975840, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)