Searching ‘the inner me’

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 23 Jan 2018 10:24:25


By Vijay Phanshikar,




In this life I need the inner me,
When I imagine of beyond good,
I think of my heart,
Time is passing by,
People conjecture,

In this life,
I desire happiness,
To find the humane in me,
In this life,
I don’t want self stigma,
I want self love and inspiration,

God is a great inspiration to man,
To teach us love in this life,
I desire to realise the good life,
That I may value
This life,
Let’s inspire and move greatly in this life.

- ‘In This Life’,
- Poem by Maxim Muyu

THe poetic value of the verse may be okay, but the poet’s craving for search of self is
wonderfully captured here, very simply yet very powerfully.
Maxim Muyu is deeply aware of the inner me ...! And the
craving is to approach that ‘inner me’, that inner being. And
further up in the poem, yet another craving expresses itself:

To find the humane in me ...!
These are no ordinary desires. These are desires in a higher zone, on a more sublime plane.
What does the poet mean by ‘the inner me’?
This question can have a million
interpretations. It can have nuances which would not be easy to fathom. For, they would be so subtle, so concealed within one’s being, so deeply embedded in the universal human psyche!

Then, what is this ‘inner me’?
Let us endeavour a definition. To be frank, this is one zone of being that is beyond
definition, beyond any definable territory. Yet, the poet craves for ‘the inner me’.

In that zone of utter oneness the inner me lives. There are no multiples there. All there is is one full being -- the inner me. That inner me is a frank place, seamless, without compartments. There is only one voice -- the voice of one’s own self that represents pure conscience, most unmitigated human idea of self. The poet is seeking that ‘inner me’.
The voice of conscience is at the core of being where there are no diversions and digressions. And the next layer of being is that of desire -- of the good or of not so good or simply vile. But in the inner-most sanctum of being, there is that ‘inner me’, unaffected by desire, untempered by idea of gain, unmitigated by thought of the physical. There, in that inner-most sanctum sanctorum of being, the ‘inner me’ symbolises the Brahman, the Atman, the Aham!

The poet is seeking that. For, once that realisation comes, one travels into the zone of Nirvana where there are no seams, no compartments. There is only me, the Brahman! That is where the poet wishes to travel -- inward where there is no further journey, no additional destination.
There is another term, too, for that state of statelessness -- Vaikunth! This word needs to be split to be understood. The latter part is Kunth which means final stoppage, ultimate
destination. Vaikunth, thus, is a place where the journey comes to an end, no further travel needed, no desire left, no craving untouched.

This is one craving that separates the poet from the rest of the pack. This is an ultimate of all spiritual desires, the final word of being where the Brahman expresses itself without

The poet, however, is sure of one thing -- that this ‘inner me’ cannot be achieved or attained without finding the humane in me. Yes, I am human. Yes, I have a human body, a human mind, and a human soul. Yet, despite this triad of Divine gifts, I may still not be humane. For, if I am assailed by lust, devastated by base desire, invaded by the urges in the zone of only the physical, then I am not humane.

To be humane is to be above all the lust and longing and the physical urges. If I am humane, if I am softened by afflictions of physical and the temporal life, if I am untouched by the spiritual, then I am not humane.
This distinction between ‘human’ and ‘humane’ must be understood properly. Having human emotions and allowing one’s urges to be guided by those is not being humane; it is only being human.
It is this distinction that marks this poetic expression from the rest.