Heavenly, marriages these!!!

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 12 Dec 2018 12:16:20



By Biraj Dixit,




MARRIAGES are made in heaven, they say. The married might argue that except for the heights of the sarcasm and depths of irony, there is nothing as perfect as heaven in that arrangement. They may hurl volley of examples and say “Hell!! No!” But the truth of the matter is that there has to be a divine hand in coaxing people to join hands in marriage. Why else would the wise human race venture into such a dangerous path on its own account? Looking from the heaven, Lord Almighty must have thought it prudent to provide a safe haven for destructive individuals or might be God was just being naughty entangling people in nuptial knots. Who knows, but divine design it is! Marriages are made in heaven and heaven is responsible for plight of the married.

While the married can squarely blame the heavens for their ‘wedded-to-disquiet’ status, much of the onus of grand marriage ceremonies also rests on the Divine. For, what else can it be but some divine design that some people have destination weddings, some other struggle to book the locality hall; that some people wear a ‘Sabyasachi’ lehenga for their mehndi, while some others make do with neo-designers’ creative boom even for their reception; that some have Salman Khan dancing in the background while some others have ‘naagin dance specialist’ uncle hitting the dance floor, literally.

This unimaginably huge, unbridgeable divide is of course Divine’s doing. Oh God, pardon me if I sound blasphemous, but are You a capitalist? What of Your famed sense of equality? Can You be happy when so much injustice prevails in the world? If not, then please shower some little, huge bucks on your less fortunate souls, this wedding season. You may bless the bride and the groom later when they are done using their parents’ money, but please be kind to those who earn their own living and invitations. It is particularly hard on the invitees, who, despite being so done up with their own wedding, must attend others’ with same dressy zeal. They may never even glance upon a ‘Sabyasachi’ lehenga, but neatly crafted, skillfully designed and perfectly stitched attire is what they too must have. Pleasseee….!

Born and brought up in this land of wisdom where little is much, a true-blue Indian like me is born-wedded to the idea of Destiny. I leave everything to Lord Almighty and accept everything as His command. Why, I even hurled forgiveness on the tailor master who ruined my dress two days before my cousin’s wedding. It is impossible to argue with people who are adept to listening only to what they speak. So when no reason could prevail upon the old man that I could not have possibly grown 3 inches in three weeks, I had to leave it to Almighty’s wish. And at the wedding, I had no new dress, but had worry lines of ‘three inches’ prominent on my face. I could do little but succumb to fate. And that I have been doing all these years with quite precision, I admit.

But this year is different. For, everybody who is somebody and everybody who is anybody and even everybody who is nobody is marrying this year. This may well go down in the history as the year of big, fat Indian weddings. And though I may find no mention in it, I would want to be a rather-well dressed participant, how-so-ever insignificant.

Unfortunately, for the rest of India, the ball was arguably set rolling by some very fat ceremonies. I may not want to sound communist, but going by their fat scale and my thin income, I would have no reservations describing them as hugely obese. The brides were absolute divas, the grooms indulgent and ageless, ceremonies heavenly, food best of the belts and the scale divine. For days, drawing room discussions revolved round their majestic opulence and near perfect everything. Social media seemed flooded with descriptions and discussions, television, too, had its over-zealous cameras fixated; magazines and newspapers kept on pouring information. In short, they were talk of the nation. Even as you read this, the biggest, fattest wedding of the weddings would be unraveling its mighty magnitude giving you some little, big heartburns as you prepare for weddings in the family.

Armed with latest information about every newest trend and every hottest design and freshly added innovation to the use of money, I thought it proper to give a relook to my own poverty-stricken wardrobe. As I opened it, my brand new saree for which I had proclaimed my ‘love at first sight’, seemed to have lost colour. Already, I had mentally calculated that the jewelry I had insisted on buying, for, it was ‘priceless’, seemed ‘worthless’ now. My newest sandals were old-fashioned and my handbags and clutches ancient. I had been rendered poor again!

I have never felt so strongly for the cause of equality ever before in my life. Actually speaking, all my life I have been a huge critic of too much opulence in weddings. It sets bad examples. I see no point in unnecessarily raising the bar. Unless it’s a wedding in my own family or one to which I have been invited, you will not find a more vocal critic of this sheer show of wealth than my good self. I have always decried it. The rich behave as they wish and the poor follow them as a trend and end up burning not just their hearts, or even pockets but sometimes their entire life. People must be socially-conscious enough to understand what consequence their action might have on the larger society.

But now that there are weddings in the family and in friends’ families and in the families of acquaintances, one really has no idea of how to deal with the situation. As the old adage goes ‘it is better to be safe than sorry’, I think I might buy a couple of trendiest designer dresses for my humble self. And though I most vehemently decry too much spending on weddings, I am also a poor Indian in habit of wearing whatever Destiny designs for me. If it has planned a little ostentation for my modest wardrobe who am I to call it opulence!