Dangers of online chatting

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 02 Dec 2018 12:40:45





I get attracted to fat and chubby women. This is a problem I am facing from many years and I cannot come for counselling. I am a shy and quiet person. I have taken many months to decide to write to you if at all there is a solution.

Ans. I need more details from you before I comment on this. It seems to be like a fetish or an obsession of some sort and we need you to come for counselling and consultation. It is okay to be shy and quiet person and still come for counselling. Many people suffer from such fetishes and they come in different forms and nature. People generally live with it unless it becomes an obsession which becomes compulsive in nature. Then it begins to hurt your social life and personal interactions. It is advisable to get it assessed at least once so that you understand the nature of your problem.

 B N

I met a guy on Facebook and we became friends. We chatted and used to message each other. He is much older to me and still I liked him. Recently, I came to know that he is married and that came as a shock. He told me that he is not married. Actually, when I asked him if he was married he did not say anything and kept quiet. One day while going through his profile, I came to know that he was married previously. I’m depressed and feels like committing suicide. I’ve lost all my friends and have no one to talk to. Please help.

Ans. This is a common danger that lurks behind online chatting. You do not get to know the facts about the person fully and they may cook up any number of stories and facts. This should be a good lesson for you to become aware of fraudulent practices online and become cautious about future friendships of this kind. It is best to live in reality and meet real people where you live or through people you know. You might cut off online chatting completely. Get out in society and meet real people and make friends. Forget the bad episode and move on. If the rascal is married and has been lying to you he is of no use to you. He has upset your mind and given you a bad experience which you will never forget. He is a negative person and can give no happiness to either his wife or you. He is a corrupt fellow with no scruples and conscience. Forget him as fast as you can.



I am confused about my career. I am doing Commerce in Class XII, but I don’t like it much. I want to pursue theatre and drama. I have done many plays at school-level and people like my acting. My parents have a middle-class mentality and feel scared that I might not make any money from drama. They want me to become a Chartered Accountant and earn decent money and lead a stable life. They cannot support me for long time and I must earn my living, they say. I am sure I will make a good actor one day, but I feel frustrated studying Commerce now. Please advise me what to do.

Ans. Earning money and opting for an offbeat career is always a big dilemma. It is important to earn money as soon as you grow up and not many parents can support their children for too long. Choosing theatre and drama as your career is a good thing as you enjoy it and also seem to be a good performer according to people. You always get good reviews you said. But you would need to chalk out a business plan of how to earn your livelihood and support yourself throughout the days of struggle. One option is to graduate in commerce and take up a job and do a part time career in acting. Another way is to graduate and get into a drama school for acting straight away and request your parents to support you for two years only. If you pass the test and get selected then it also is a sure test of your talent. If not then you may rethink your plan. A session of counselling can help you evaluate your ability as well as your personality.


(The columnist can be contacted at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 9156582334, 2220250, 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)