Move on with your life

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 11 Mar 2018 11:13:46


 

Q. I am a 19 year old girl. I like a guy from my college and he liked me too. After a year, he suddenly started behaving differently and asked me to move on. I asked him the reason many times, but he didn’t have one. He wants to remains friends, but I can’t be just his friend. Since last two months, he and my best friend hang out together very often. I feel they like each other but they denied it. I’m hurt as I really love him and I can’t see both of them together.

I feel there is something between them. Should I trust them? Please tell me what should I do. I don’t want to lose my best friend because of my insecurities. But I can’t see them together. Ans. No, you should not trust them. They are lying to you and that is fine in human relationships. You can get ditched and it is nothing unusual. Your two best friends like each others company and you are really out of it. They are being polite to you for the sake of not being rude. Of course do not be sure that this new friendship will last forever for this may also have a shelf live and will eventually die away. We cannot predict much in relationships. You should have been more sensitive to the signs that your male friend was giving you earlier which might have slipped your attention. Anyway, it is best to move on with your life in the best possible manner and make the best use of the time available with you. Be positive and optimistic and creative in your interests for the future. Make a great career for yourself and find a new circle of friends and do not get intimate with them. Just keep a safe and friendly distance from all those you know. Best of luck. P L

Q. I am 24 years-old girl and I have hard time sleeping at night. I am night owl and I get up very late. Most nights I’m awake till 5am. Because of this reason I have developed dark circles also which look ugly as I have very fair skin. I try sleeping early but no matter what I do I can’t. This habit is creating physical problems for me now. I always feel tired and dizzy. I don’t feel like eating food or going out anymore. I feel very lazy and restless. Please suggest some tips.

Ans. This is a disturbance in your sleep patterns and a bad habit developed over a specific time. You need to set it right by setting a new pattern and following it diligently for a week. It then sets in as a new habit and your sleep cycle gets organised. Consult a psychologist or a doctor for this. It is not impossible and can be rectified. The idea is not to sleep during the day at all and sleep early such as 9 pm and stay there in bed trying to sleep, without indulging in any other activity such as reading, TV etc. Set an alarm at 6 am and get up even with difficulty. Get busy with some work and get into a schedule. Try it or else seek a consultation. R S

Q. I am 40-year- old woman. I have two daughters. One is 18 and other one is 22. My elder daughter is a very outgoing person. She talks to everyone very cheerfully. This worries me. I feel that if she talks like this to random people it might create a problem in her life. She even laughs and talks to auto drivers or workers. She is very pretty and attracts boys in droves. I don’t know what to do and how to make her see reason. You will be best person to guide her and make her understand. Please let me know when can I bring her?

Ans. Please bring her for counselling as per your convenience. You are right that an overly extroverted nature can send wrong signals to people who are waiting to catch it! I am sure as an adult she must be careful and smart enough to know what she doing with others. Your anxiety is normal but do not get over anxious about it too. Talk to her more about her career and hobbies and other interests and get her involved in creative activities. She needs perhaps more focus and a clarity about her goals in life.

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Move on with your life The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)