Being too emotional; turning flaws into attributes!

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 28 Mar 2018 11:31:53



By apurva jagdale

Universally, it is the genetic set up of a woman to be over possessive or to be too emotional. These are inborn attributes and their excess may damage personality and disturb the psychological health of a woman. Krupa, aged 24 years, a newly wedded woman to a handsome man astonishingly forsakes everything after marriage. She is completely immersed into the relationship forgetting her own ‘self’, friends, and family. As the years advance, she finds herself in an emotional mess as she has a forsaken job behind and a family to look after ahead. She has nothing to do in spite of being well educated. She realises that, the husband for whom she sheds tears is very numb to her emotions.

Another homemaker Raksha, aged 30, a mother of two kids, faces a lot of trouble in coping up with her emotional turmoil. Physical derangements like pre menstrual syndrome, which further fume her mental trouble, disturb her every month. However, her insensitive husband neglects it calling it a routine affair. This is the agony of the educated lot dancing to the tune of different roles in the society. Every time she faces the emotional trauma at various fronts as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an employee, a colleague, at last, as a whole a woman herself. If a literate woman suffers so much, we cannot even think of the miseries of poor illiterate women.
Vidya (aged 31), a very intelligent, smart, diligent maid servant, whose husband is a drunkard earns her living by doing strenuous hard work, brings up her two very small kids all alone. She has absolutely no one to support her. Still in such adverse circumstances, she is as tough as the rock and handles everything with great care and meticulousness. With every passing day, her heart is bleeding with agony, anger, anguish, and there is no outlet to her emotions. Her only life support system is her indomitable, unshakable faith in God. She is never greatly disturbed about her capricious husband and other members of the family. She has accepted destiny as it is and found her own way of tackling her emotions. Her personality can make thousands of women jealous on her toughness and confidence of leading a happy and cheerful life.
Nevertheless, In India also, the social trend is slowly changing. As educated lot is increasing, financially independent women are steadily becoming emotionally stable. Largely it is individual make-up of the personality in handling the emotions, which may vary from person to person. The meek women, though financially independent even today rely on their husbands for the important decisions of their lives. They are too submissive by nature.
Rekha, a young lawyer from an upper middle class family in Mumbai with a nice understanding husband pampers her ego and pride so much so that she has decided to separate from him. In a secured atmosphere, she coolly handles the matter and has blunt emotions for her husband. She does not believe in companionship and surprisingly is detached too, as she has strong self-conviction. She does not long for any emotional prop up. This is something contradictory to the traits of a woman. The illustrations of women from the different strata of the society prove that they take pride in managing their sentiments alone. Even now, majority of women yearn for emotional bonding with their husband. The man who desperately fulfills his physiological needs very comfortably and straightforwardly forgets to contribute to the emotional need of his better half.
What else may be the reasons for her over sensitivity? Intense emotions have corroded a woman’s heart. Apart from internal hormonal and physiological stress are the societal pressures that have been built on her for ages together. Surprisingly even in the twenty first century she suffers the same distress. Expecting too much from a relationship may be another reason of her emotional turmoil. The burden of expectations; inner hormonal changes, narrow minded society, reckless casual attitude of her life partner, taken for granted attitude of everyone in the family, stress of proving herself, need for self- esteem, are all the factors that contribute for her emotional trauma.

Well the questions remain unanswered. What should a woman do to forget her emotional distress? How should she learn to cope up with the situations? Certainly, the only answer that should be expected is to ignore the distressing emotional world of hers, and concentrate only on the positive attributes of her personality! Only then, she will liberate herself from entangling net of emotions and prevent herself from becoming an 'emotional fool'. As she is struggling to acquire an all round personality she will definitely be self reliant on the emotional front also. In the cacophony of life a woman will definitely conquer her emotions. As it is said, “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slaves to your emotions". She will positively change her thoughts and will be a master of her emotions! l