Weddings we

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 25 Apr 2018 12:29:42



By biraj dixit






It is upon us again. The great Indian wedding season - with all its gregariousness and grandiose, congeniality and compunction, chaos and chagrins - is upon us. The great wedding – a powerful prelude to life’s greatest drama – marriage, very much like life itself, is a grand saga of all things that could have been done the other way. It is indeed the best of the times and it is the worst of the times not just for the two souls who tie the nuptial knot, but also for those who are around them, in good many numbers. Almost everybody wants to make the most of it.
I, too, intend to make most of the good times. A dear cousin of mine is finally ready to take the sacred vows and like all good relatives I intend to grace the ceremony with my presence to help him navigate through this high tide. Needless to say that like a true blue Indian cousin, my role would be hardly restricted to being a gentle escort, helping the groom through ceremonies and people, through the thick of niceties and thin of discomfort or being of assistance to my aunt and uncle or to those lost in the nitty-gritties. It will definitely be much more than showering my blessings upon the newly wed. It would, most definitely, be much, much more than ceremonial show of familial strength.

It would include revisiting family traditions (so that lapses can be adequately brought to fore), recalling previous marriages and misses therein, remembering the most forgettables, lamenting the new culture and newer wardrobes and listening to n-numbers of “during our times....” My role would be so incomplete without a little flaunt of style. Clothes are any wedding’s heart and soul. Where weddings are concerned, clothes are second only to food in importance, it is said. And if you happen to be the member of the fairer, the more concerned, the always correct gender, then you would know that, in virtue, they supersede food by many degrees. The thought and the preparation that they involve, the confidence and the appeal they create, the charm and the heartburns that they can leave behind, clothes are, without doubt, the flash of the ceremonies and heart and soul of weddings. And it is in this particular connection that my present day anxiety rests. They ought to be right for the ceremonies and as grand as the dressee. They can’t just be admired, they ought to be remembered and their style and grace spoken about for years and weddings to come.

But the most tiresome beginning of the task is to convince a vowed-to-remain-uninitiated gentleman, the importance of clothes and the other goodies required for the momentous occasion. One look at the fellow and the world could be convinced that my brother is getting married with the sole intention of unleashing his sister to rob his brother-in-law of his hard-earned money. I mean, who needs to enter wedlock for that? I say, it is my brother’s right to see his sister dressed to her heart’s content at his wedding. For, she would inevitably reflect upon her
husband’s well-being. Wearing a great designer suit as she enters the wedding hall, face beaming with pride and contentment, she inevitably announces to the world, “I am happy and here is the man responsible for it.” Can there be any better marker of a man’s success? And that, especially at a gathering where most part of the contingent belongs to that ill-famed category called ‘in-laws’?

But such elegant nuances of life are so lost on people whose idea of clothes is that they cover the body and make people presentable. In fact, clothes cover so many innumerable aspects of human life that anybody with a fair idea of civilised life knows that any amount invested in clothes is after all an investment. And here is my husband, always nagging about the size of my wardrobe and urgent need to disinvest! “How about the beautiful dress, you wore at cousin X’s wedding,” he asks me. “Two cousins, same dress!!!” “Who remembers!” I had excused this gentleman’s lack of understanding a long time ago. ‘Who remembers?’ What else are wedding memories composed of? Of course, my own memory runs amok whenever I recall weddings in the family. We have just finished fighting over weddings - ‘my side, your side’. The ensuing one is on my side, which means, the onus is on me to keep the man in good humour till the time we safely land at my uncle’s residence, and I can safely hand him over to his own good graces, ever-attentive brothers-in-law, charming sisters-in-law, nitty-gritty of weddings and to the wholesome idea of family how-so-ever extended.

But for now, a big, fat wedding is upon me and the chaos in life is unimaginable. So much to prepare for and so less time! But I know this is the worst of the time before best of the time. Soon, a happy occasion in the family will spread happiness all over. Ceremonies, rituals, celebrations will definitely drown away the fatigue of the big, fat preparations. One more person will find her way into the family, in home and hearth and hearts. Traditions will continue their seamless journey and family will reinforce its values and worth….And I would be dressed for the occasion. I sure will. ldges!!