Better to be safe than exploited

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 24 Jun 2018 11:48:15

Q. I am an engineering student. I met a boy 7 months ago and we were in a relation for 6 months. We later broke up as he didn’t want to acknowledge me in front of his friends. He later started dating another girl. Now, as I am trying to move on, he has started speaking to me again, but also keeps saying that he is not the right guy for me. What should I do?

Ans. My advice would be to stay away from not-right guys. When he himself is saying that he is not a right guy –it means two things, one, he is making a confession about his true personality and two, he may be hinting that he wants to break off and has had enough of you. Either way what is the point in getting hurt again as history seems to be repeating itself. If you like his company you can maintain a decent friendship but watch out for any further developments. It is better to be safe than to be exploited for your weaknesses. A V

Q. I appeared for my final year exams last month and now I want to prepare for GATE for PSU. But sometimes, I think I had taken the wrong decision as most of my friends are joining the companies they are selected for in campus recruitment. Even I have 3 offer letters, but they are from small companies and I am not sure what to do. Please tell me is it possible to get a good score GATE in six months, with good coaching centre. I am ready to work, but I get de-motivated sometimes. Please help me

Ans. Your decision seems to be appropriate and good enough. If your long term goal is to join a PSU, then GATE is the best exam to appear for. You say that the private companies are small and you are confident that you can score well enough for qualifying for the exams. Where is the need for doubt and pessimism –you should go ahead with your plans in full swing. Pray, meditate, keep focused on goals and work hard towards success. Never doubt your capabilities and yourself. M S

Q. Since few days my anxiety and nervousness has increased drastically. People have started noticing it in my office as well. I get worried very quickly and feel depressed. I know there are changes showing up in me, but I feel afraid of consulting anyone for the fear that something is seriously wrong. I cannot share this with anyone and my family keeps asking me what is wrong and I don’t have any answers. My fear is getting the better of me. Please guide me.

Ans. It is nice to know that you are becoming aware of your problems and are keen to sort them out. This is the first step to helping yourself –to acknowledge that you have a problem that needs to be addressed. The next step is to identify the symptoms that are arising on a certain frequency, maybe daily or many times a day or once a week and so on. The third step is to identify the sources of stress, which are called the stressors, in your life whether they belong to your personal life or professional life or social circle. Once we identify the stressors you can now arrive at solutions to them. The methods for therapy are many and we have to see what suits you the best. There are physical methods like exercises, or psycho-social methods or spiritual methods. We need to know your nature, your personality to help you with the specific methods. But be assured that whatever you have been suffering from has a cure and treatment and we can help you overcome it with your help. A session or two will do the needful. Please do not hesitate and do not prolong it.











By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Better to be safe than exploited The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at