Allow girls to flourish

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 19 Aug 2018 11:47:48


 

Q. I am student of class 11th preparing for JEE examinations. However my dream is to serve in Indian Air force. Can girls enter Army? I need your help.

Ans. Girls can enter into the defence services only after graduation or post graduation and not before. After graduation, there are various examinations held twice a year for different fields, whether army, air-force and navy and after passing the written exams there is an SSB interview which you need to clear. So far women were not allowed to fly fighter planes in the Air Force and this year we saw this age old belief being shattered as three young women received training as fighter pilots and went on solo flights! The government has also allowed women to be on permanent commission from this year instead of short-term commission. L G

Q. I am an ambitious girl but my parents are forcing me to get married now. I belong to a conservative family and due to constant nagging I have started doubting myself. I become irritated easily. I answer back and then feel bad about it. Please help me madam.

Ans. This is truly pathetic. When a girl is ambitious and wants to make a good career why should parents stop her and force her into marriage prematurely, is a big moral-philosophical question. Talent has to be nurtured and when we educate girls we must allow them to use the education. But you cannot make enemy of your parents too for they have brought you up and given you an opportunity for education. I would advise you to request them and plead with them for a few more years of time before marriage. Assure them that you are keen to marry and that you will marry a boy of their choice but they should allow you a couple of years more for gaining some work experience. Convince them of your good intentions and be polite. That always works better- polite and assertive and firm in your stand. Do not give in to pressure. T S

Q. I have been married for more than 15 years and my husband’s behaviour towards me and my children is forcing me to think of leaving him. I earn. My friends tell me to leave him and my family says no. What should I do?

Ans. This is always a difficult dilemma to resolve. Your family must be thinking on conventional lines of what will society say and how will a woman live alone and all sorts of traditional beliefs. Your friends must be more modern in thought and approach. Your mind is in between the dilemma. You will have to take a practical approach to resolving this moral conflict. Do not think emotionally nor culturally but a very realistic and practical perspective will help you decide. Weigh the pros and cons of the both the situations, life with him and its plus and minus points and similarly life without him and its merits and demerits. This will know which side is beneficial to you. As far as kids are concerned, they need a happy and healthy atmosphere in comparison to a home where there is continuous conflict and strife. An environment full of fear, aggression and hatred is detrimental to the emotional growth and healthy development of children. Moreover over the years they begin to learn these wrong coping strategies. Sometimes it is better to move out into a safe and clean environment so that children are exposed to better behaviour and attitudes. They will develop good personalities. Of course a father figure has a big importance in children’s live but only when there is love and affection too. If they fear him what is the use of his presence in the house? But please give it proper thought with patience or else come for a session for sharing more details about your current life and future options. By

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Allow girls to flourish The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)