Source: The Hitavada      Date: 19 Aug 2018 10:33:44



A bad temper is a burden to the man possessing it and to those around him. Like the alcoholic drink, he is otherwise a nice person, intelligent and affectionate, that is why temper has been called the vice of the virtuous. Like the drinker, he suffers from remorse and self-condemnation often to an agonising degree. He swears to reform, never to let himself go again and like the drinker he does not until the next time.

The bad tempered man apologises for his actions to those he has offended and tries to make friends for the things he has said and done. Often because they are friends they forgive him. But temper has broken many friendships. Probably, later he forgives himself. The expert said “Three minutes of anger will sap your strength quicker than eight hours of work. Anger puts a terrible strain on arms and legs.

When you are angry, blood rushes to the major muscles of arms and legs. In the bargain, you get greater physical strength but the brain lacks its full blood supply which cuts down efficiency. That is why you say things you don’t mean and do things which seem outlandish. Doctors say that of body’s ills come from attitudes of anger, hate and resentment. Many sick people recover through the simple process of substituting patience for impatience, calmness for anger and love for hate.

Why keep giving in to a bad habit, asks the wise man? It only helps in disturbing your system. Fight the habit everyday and eventually you will get out of the habit and become a much nicer person. Many know the damage done to peace of mind. Many regret for quarreling with parents and you get no chance to say sorry because they walk away without aggravating the situation. Anger costs the co-operation of good opinions of others as well as affection and regard. Temper robs a woman of beauty and man of dignity. It is no sin to have a temper but go on having it is a disaster. The sage says “The best way to lose your temper is to love the God Almighty”. Physical action also helps in controlling temper.

You run around on the ground and you become relaxed trying to regain your breath. The greatest thing in the world which has helped many is patience and controlling temper. “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your Middle” said Hollywood Comedian Bob Hope. Forty is the old age of youth and fifty is the youth of old age. Temper is not running out of gas but more like burning out your bearings. Mark Twain said “When angry, count four and when very angry swear. Manners are the happy ways of doing things. One of the very best of all earthly possessions is self-possession. The difficult is that which can be done immediately; the impossible takes a little longer”.

One trouble with the world is that so many people who stand-up vigorously for their rights fall down miserably on their duties. Successful people see a wrong direction as a valuable learning. Experience while unsuccessful is a lesson for future use. We have got to love people, places and ideas; we have got to live with mind, body and soul; we have got to be committed as there is no life on the sidelines. A calm mind gives abundant peace of mind and stability. My teacher used to say “Values make up the core of who we are. When we live our lives with our values, we function at the highest level.

When we fail to honour our values, we become angry and our communication shuts down. Our values continue to evolve as we go on living. When we focus on living from our values, we become honoured and satisfied. The key to a life that is satisfying and productive is to identify our key values and make sure that they are being honoured. Until our life and values are in alignment, life will look like an uphill struggle. When our core values and life rules are honoured, we step into our power to function at our highest level. When we are not fully aware of our life rules, we may put ourselves where they can be easily violated. Our lives are the result of the ongoing process of creating a new who we are everyday. Too often, people live out of the mistaken notice of discovery.

There is a belief that each of us should find out who we are out of many trials, experiences and lessons, we learn. We must passively accept and be at the mercy of whatever life has in store for us. Good and bad, right and wrong are mere interpretations that we adopt. When we are right, everything happens in our favour fulfilling life’s aims and ambitions.