‘Treat your depression soon’

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 02 Sep 2018 11:34:36


 

Q. I was admitted to a hospital, where one doctor took special care of me. We became friends, I started loving him. Once while chatting, I tried to get too close and he stopped talking to me. I apologised, and he accepted, but never talks like he did earlier. My messages always go unread on WhatsApp. I changed my number and called him casually after some days and surprisingly he blocked me. Nevertheless, I admitted my love through SMS, but got no reply. He now remains offline all the time and comes on WhatsApp/Facebook only if I request him through a phone call. Though he answers my calls he only listens and never replies to messages. Why does he hates me so much. How do I deal with this?

Ans. Please understand that he does not necessarily hate youthat is an inference because he is not explaining his behaviour. Another explanation could be that he does not want any love entanglement but was happy with only friendship. Another one is that men don’t like to be left behind when the woman takes the lead! That’s just by the way! Seriously, he may be scared of your intense emotions which may not appeal to him and once your emotions for him have changed from friendship to love/romantic he wants to quit. This is fair enough. Only aspect is that he could explain it, but do not like to do that. So give it up and keep good memories. A M

Q. I am in Class XI in Science stream without Maths. I am facing troubles with my studies, as I don’t get enough time. I attend school from 8 am to 1:40 pm and then go to tuition class from 2:30 pm to 7:30 pm. After coming back, I feel very tired and stressed out. I’m not getting any time for self-study. I have asked my parents to enrol me in some dummy college, but they don’t agree. Please help me. Thanks!

Ans. You are right about the dummy college - a student must rely on one good institute- either the college or the tuition class and not both- it is too much time involved and different approaches too can confuse. If it is possible to do so now, please request your parents to make the shift. Self study is the best form of study after an initial proper instruction from a teacher. You truly do not need two institutes for the same. I hope they will realise the value of it. Anonymous

 

Q. I wrote to you earlier last year and I need your advice, to tackle my life. I work in a call centre and my life has become hell, I’m losing everything in life including friends, interest, hobbies and I have no reason to live. I left everything behind last year and came to new place for my job. I thought that if I start afresh, my life will be alright. But things have not changed, and I’m facing the same problems. People leave me after their purpose is solved and laugh at me when their work is done. I tried to mediate, but I wasn't able to. I lack will power. I often get thoughts about ending it all with my life, but I don’t even have that much will. I'm tired of failing in life. In terms of education, I never wanted to be an engineer, but my parents forced me. Now I have lost zeal to pursue my interest, I regret surrendering to family wishes. My job too is sucking the life out of me. Please help me to run away from it. I really need your help.

Ans. It seems that you are in a depressed state of mind and this must be going on for some time. All the signs and symptoms of depression are there. Your life can become beautiful and enjoyable if you get yourself treated properly and you should not waste time. There could be story behind it that started it and we would like to hear that too. You should first come for psychotherapy and counselling and then we will decide if you need medicines or not. Depression has three aspects- biological, social and psychological. We start with the social and the psychological and then go to the level of biological causes. Please do not delay. Depression is treatable.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) ‘Treat your depression soon’ The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, oron 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com.