Failure does not define you

Source: The Hitavada      Date: 10 Feb 2019 11:16:46



Q. I completed graduation in 2018 and after that I took 6 month coaching for GATE. I have no expectations from GATE 2019, but I am sure I can make it to the top spot in GATE 2020. Butmyparentswant me to score good in 2019 exam itself. Though all my concepts are clear, I need more time to practice that’s why I am aiming for Gate 2020. I am afraid how to face my parents after result of GATE 2019. Negative thoughts come to mind and make me apprehensive about Gate 2020 result. Please tell me what to do.

Ans. You must give it your best shot this year and repeat it next year too. Inform your parents that you are planning to do your best and leave the rest to your results. Never be afraid to face your parents for they show you the truth and it is good to face the truth. Never allow negative thoughts to come your way at any time. Failures are always temporary and spur us to do better and never lose in the long run. Always keep your mind on long term goals and short term too. A simple failure of an examination of a year is no big deal. A failure does not define your capabilities or your life. Failures are to be taken in stride andonemustworkhardertohoneskillsandachievegoodresults. P S

Q.Ifeel like ending my life and keep crying all the time. My friends are good to me and support me but I cannot face my parents. They are wondering what is wrong with me and I made up a story of a fight with my (girl) friend. Recently I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me with another girl since a long time. Ifeel I have ruined my life as I did not listen tomyfriendswhen they tried towarn me about him. He is employed and much elder to me. I wanted to marry him as he had promised me that he loved meandwantedtomarryme.Butmylifehasbeendestroyed bythis man and I havenothing to live for now.Please guide me madam.

Ans. This is a most unfortunate situation. It is natural for you to feel depressed and out of your mind since you are the victim of cheating and betrayal. But rest assured that life does not end with the sins of one stupid man who has no character and no integrity. It is no fault of yours if someone cheats you. You are the victim of someone’s immorality. Since it is not your fault at all you have no need to be in a negative mood for long time. Get out of the bad experience, learn lessons from it and get going with life. Life is a great teacher and gives us experience to make us wiser. We do not desire bad experiences as we always desire good things to happen to us but they don’t always happen the way we want it to happen. Focus on what you can control in your life and that one thing is your own Mind.You cannot control events and you cannot control the behaviour of other people. Leave it to others to deal with their life the way they want to. You take care of yourself and be positive always. P L

Q.Is there something called job stress? Can it lead to losing interest in work and developing a hatred for the boss and colleagues?What is correctway to knowwhat is wrong with me? Please help me ma’am. It is urgent please.

Ans. Yes, all this can be symptoms of stress and a few sessions of counselling can help you learn to manage your mind better. Everyone goes through stress and everyone can learn to manage it too. For an appointment you will have to call the numbers given below and fix a time and date. That is a simple process.You should not delay the process further for it will only worsen and make you miserable further.














(Consulting Psychologist) Failure does not define you The columnist can be reached at 201, Paramount Heights, 40 Cement Road, Shivaji Nagar Nagpur 440010 or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at