Getting younger with age

By RITA AGGARWAL,    SHADES OF GREY      I love my Australian friend. She packed up herflourishing business at 55 years of age and began her new journey of exploring the world and herself through her travels. Her husband too jo..

Our lives improve only when we take chances

  By T G L IYER, We are not born with delusion; we are not born greedy. We acquire these traits through life experience. A parent gives the message that we are good, clever, capable brave and that will encourage us to use that quality as a label..

You forget what you are taught, but remember what you have learnt

    By T G L IYER, One of the qualities that intrigue us is the way we handle rejection, defeat, setbacks that we have to face off and on. Succeeding has a great deal to do with how we handle adversity. Some face adversity boldly and overco..

Failure does not define you

  By RITA AGGARWAL, Q. I completed graduation in 2018 and after that I took 6 month coaching for GATE. I have no expectations from GATE 2019, but I am sure I can make it to the top spot in GATE 2020. Butmyparentswant me to score good in 2019 exam..


MEDITATION By T G L IYER Johan Wolfgang Von Goethe wrote: “If we examine every stage of our lives, we find that from our first breath to our last, we are under the constraint of circumstances. Yet we still possess the greatest of all freedoms, t..

Identify the stressors

  EMOTIONS   By RITA AGGARWAL W E My son is preparing for Std 10 Boards and seems to be stressed. As parents, we do not put any pressure on him to get high grades. He is disciplined and good boy and works hard himself. But now, he has beco..

Becoming rich is not the goal; HEADS it comes by itself

  By T G L IYER, M any people go through life never questioning what they think they know. From the time we are born, our minds which operate like a computer, are programmed to believe certain things. As we get older we formulate our beliefs and ..

Keep calm

  I t sounds like the ultimate mantra and so it is. Facing the rough challenges of life with equanimity and calmness is the best a mortal can do under the circumstances. A human is helpless in the face of disease and death and it teaches you the v..

Heal your own wounds

By RITA AGGARWAl, Q. My son seems distracted and we are worried for his Class X Board exams. He is unwilling to come for any sort of counselling and tells us not to worry for him. Please advise us. Ans. You have not mentioned his past records. If he ha..

We can be a bonsai or a giant tree

  By T G L IYER Selling and marketing luck has been big business since time immemorial. From Witch Doctors to religious cults from clairvoyants to get rich quick, conmen have prospered at the expense of the weak or the vulnerable. We cannot buy l..


  By HEMANT KATARIA I n travelling to Leh from Bhilai, we realised we were covering roughly half of the vertical length of the country. What is it about Leh that keeps drawing us again and again? The stark, unembellished landscape, the simple pe..

Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs

  By T G L IYER, One thing successful people tell you is that success is not easy. They are telling the absolute truth. They are not saying that it is difficult, because really it is not. What they are saying is that it does not come naturally. ..


By BAPPADITYA CHATTERJEE, Faced with a dwindling supply of white duck feathers, lack of mechanisation and soaring Chinese competition with alternative plastic products, traders at the shuttlecock manufacturing hub are struggling to make ends meet amidst ..

Self-integration is important

    Q. I have a very strange problem! I motivate everyone around me and I am always cheerful. But still, when I sit alone I feel de-motivated about myself. I think people don't like me and they just want to be away from me. I don't know if t..

What you believe to be true becomes the reality

  By T G L IYER, R obert Schuller says: “Keep on succeeding; for only successful people can help others”. People go to work to succeed and not to fail. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on when others have let go. Advers..

Relationship stress

  By RITA AGGARWAL,         M anjula could never get used to her husband’s loud snoring at night! She would often lose sleep and lie awake tossing about restlessly. She could do with a different bed as well as a ro..

Vital to note changes in behaviour

Q. Class 10 exam are nearing and my son is not studying seriously. He wastes time and gets angry if I reprimand him. He is a good boy and used to gets very good marks. But since last one year he has changed. His father is short tempered and shouts at him...


  By ASHWINI LOTHE A hybrid of the East and the West, Hong Kong is culturally very rich and a shopper’s delight. Discover what all this tiny nation has to offer to tourists...   W ide, clean roads, highly organised transportation, hu..

Goals must be ambitious but achievable

  By T G L IYER, G oals must be ambitious but within our reach. Everyday activities are not goals. A goal is something you really want but currently not experiencing. If you do not change anything in your life, you will not experience anything di..

Be respectful and assertive

  By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I am working in this company for several years. I was asking for promotion for two years and now I am frustrated with it. I don’t feel like going to work and feel tired and bored. I don’t have any other ..

Happy people don’t accept change; they embrace it

  MEDITATION By T G L IYER Mark Twain wrote: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. It is better to stay away from negative p..

 Dangers of online chatting

  EMOTIONS By RITA AGGARWAL WL I get attracted to fat and chubby women. This is a problem I am facing from many years and I cannot come for counselling. I am a shy and quiet person. I have taken many months to decide to write to you if at all t..

Destroyer of families

  SHADES OF GREY By RITA AGGARWAL  Mr X is an arrogant and hot-headed man. He behaves like a brute when his sense of balance is lost which is often. Anything and everything can make him angry. Beating up his wife is a common occurrence whic..

Hee-Patal Encountering Rhododendrons and Kanchenjungha

  By SOMEN SENGUPTA, T he altercation with the young cab driver was pointless and it was not that late when I realized it. I hired the cab from Biksthang of West Sikkim to scale up some more height to reach a small village named Hee. Little did I..

It’s all about Me

By RITA AGGARWAL,  SHADES OF GREY    She was obsessed with her looks and posted endlessly on Facebook her selfies in different poses and dresses. It was amazing that she could be so desperate for people to ‘see’ her and many ..

Deal with stress immediately

  Q. I have suddenly developed stress symptoms and can’t sleep at night. I wake up and get no sleep after that. Some bad dreams also trouble me. My personal life is fine and I am happy in it. I have a job and all is well there too. I cannot ..

Seek training in social skills

  M.C Q. My 17 years old son is studying commerce CBSE. He has private tuitions, but his performance is still poor. He is not interested in studying but is busy all the time with his mobile. He doesn’t listen and if he advice him, he uses ab..

‘Universe propped up without help from God’

  By SAKET SUMAN, T his book began when Stephen Hawking was alive but was published this month posthumously. It is billed by the publisher as his final thoughts and draws extensively from essays, keynote speeches and lectures that he wrote or del..

Diwali -Lighting The Fire Within

  By ISHA FOUNDATION,   Sadhguru explains the significance of Diwali, the Festival of Lights, and how we can make it a cracker of a time Diwali is celebrated for various cultural reasons but historically, it is called Naraka Chaturdashi be..

Edinburgh TheHistoric City

  By RAJIV YASHROY, T he name of Edinburgh (pronounced as Edin Burra) evokes memories of Sean Connery, Harry Potter, Dolly–the cloned sheep, bagpipes and of course Scotch whisky. Edinburgh is the capital city of Scotland which is part of th..

Searching for logic in emotional matters

By RITA AGGARWAL, S he was rejected and dejected by her long time boyfriend. He promised the moon to her and they were dating for several years and one day he walked off to get married according to the dictates of his parents. The girl is left in the lur..

‘Fill in the blanks yourself’

Q. I am a married school teacher. I recently got into an extra-marital relationship. Although I love my husband, but I don't know why I was not happy with him. Someone told this to my husband and he divorced me. Although this has happened a long time ago,..

‘Stress is an inside thing’

      Q. I am a final year Engineering student and I was in relation with a girl from same college for two and half years. But things were not going good from January and in August she broke up with me saying we would remain friends. T..

‘Stammering can be cured’

  By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I am a Class VIII student and I like a girl in my class. We meet in school van. I sent her a proposal and she said No. I am very upset with her reply. Please tell me why she has rejected me? I am a good student and ..

Spirituality: The Science And Beyond

  By DR ANJALI JOSHI, Science and spirituality are the two sides of the same coin. Science is trying to find the truth in an objective or physical manner, whereas spirituality tries it subjectively or metaphysically. -Thomas Vazhakunnathu, philos..


By RITA AGGARWAL,   SHADES OF GREY T heir bags were packed and so was the cargo ready to be shipped. The family had severe pangs of anxiety- will they settle back in India, their hometown, and will people accept them whole heartedly, after living ..


  By DR HARSHA JHARIA, Kinnaur has a spectacular terrain of lush green valley, orchards, vineyards, snow clad peaks and cold desert mountains. It is a border district of Himachal Pradesh. The culture and language is different from other parts of ..

The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as ‘silent’

  By T G L IYER, Confidence is the bridge connecting expectations with actual performance. Individuals with confidence view a loss as a crossroad and not a cliff. Confident individuals make mistakes and encounter troubles without falling off the ..

Adoption is the best option

  By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I am a graduate in agriculture (2014). After my graduation, I prepared for competitive exam and also faced two interviews of sub-inspector, but was not selected in final round. After marriage, I joined a private sec..

If you are NOT SCAREDyou are not growing

  By T G L IYER, MEDITATION T here are very few limitations on what you can accomplish. Most of them are selfimposed. They are the result of fears and doubts that stop you from trying. You can overcome these self-limiting beliefs by taking acti..

Think Neutral

By RITA AGGARWAL,   SHADES OF GREY T hink neutral is not too contrary to the philosophical advice of ‘think positive’ but is a step forward in consciousness. Negative thinking and positive thinking are two extremes in the thought proce..

Values are not taught; they are caught

  By T G L IYER,  T he process of learning is not just piling data on top of more data. It is one of obtaining new understandings and better ways of doing things. Those who get along in life never really stop studying and learning. The compe..

Relax your nerves and think

  Q. I love a boy. He is my senior by one year. We are both in junior college and attend the same tuition classes. I am a good student, but now everyone is angry with me. My parents have high hopes from me, but my marks have dropped. I also have h..

Re-educate for rehabilitation

By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I’m a 19-year-old girl. I sleep at around 4 am and wakeup at around 10-11 am. I can’t understand why my parents want me to wake-up early. I work part time from home and earn very little, but I'm satisfied. I wante..

Betla National Park The jungle graceful

  By SOMEN SENGUPTA,   Travel Logistics : Betla National Park is just 25 km from Daltonganj which is connected by rail from Patna and Calcutta. Ranchi is just 170 km from Betla NP. Betla is connected by road from Ranchi - it is a drive of 1..


By RITA AGGARWAL, SHADES OF GREY, The Malala Fund suspended its grants to Sakhi and Nari Gunjan, two organisations named in the TISS (Tata Institute of Social Sciences) social audit report of short stay homes across Bihar,’ says PTI reported in T..

‘Treat your depression soon’

  Q. I was admitted to a hospital, where one doctor took special care of me. We became friends, I started loving him. Once while chatting, I tried to get too close and he stopped talking to me. I apologised, and he accepted, but never talks like h..


  By DR PRAKASH DEO, K enya –aplethora of wildlife and infinite wild life surprises. From the beautiful costal cliff of Watamu, to the beach of Lake Victoria. The great Kenya Rift valley and the wonders of wildebeest migration in Masai Mara..

Adversity introducesa man to himself

  By T G L IYER,   A ldous Huxley writes in Vulgarity In Literature “A childlike man is not a man whose development has been arrested; on the contrary he is a man who has given himself a chance continuing to develop long after most ad..

The benefits of psychotherapy are many

  Q. I am a student of final year and will start working next year. I am a good student and want to make a good career for me and my family. My father died when I was small and my mother worked hard to bring us up- my brother and me are very close..

Art Ichol - of boundless creativity

  By MAITHILI BISNE, A rt is eternal. Its expanse, unfettered and its extent, unfathomable. Though it finds its space and commands its presence in even the most unlikely of places, when nurtured in manicured premise, it flourishes even more beaut..


  By T G L IYER, A bad temper is a burden to the man possessing it and to those around him. Like the alcoholic drink, he is otherwise a nice person, intelligent and affectionate, that is why temper has been called the vice of the virtuous. Like ..


By RITA AGGARWAL, SHADES OF GREY Ruchi a teenager aged thirteen does not winch when she tells a blatant lie to her mother. She has become a habitual liar at a tender age and that is likely to stay with her forever unless corrected strictly and sternly o..

Allow girls to flourish

  Q. I am student of class 11th preparing for JEE examinations. However my dream is to serve in Indian Air force. Can girls enter Army? I need your help. Ans. Girls can enter into the defence services only after graduation or post graduation and..

Life is a gift with no guarantees

  By T G L IYER, Y our work place must be a place where you feel free to experiment. It is your secret hideaway where you can make a mess or organise your work, whatever you want. In this place, you are free to make mistakes or be creative to say..

Reveling in solitude

  By DR RAJESH IYER, t may seem pretty odd or even incongruous to associate revelry with solitude. Revelry in general context is connected with boisterous celebrations in a group, crowd or mob. Imagining revelry in a isolated state may not convey..

Career traps

Q. I am a student of Class 12 preparing for IITJEE. I need solutions for  problems I am facing namely, 1. Laziness 2. De-motivated by parents (I have the same situation as Q2 in your last week’s column). 3. Time Management. Almost 60 topic..

Spanish Delights

  By DR PRATIKSHA MAYEE, G irona is a beautiful region located in the Northeastern part of Catalonia, Spain. It is about 100 km from Barcelona and many day tours operate from there. As you reach Girona the first stop gives you a picturesque view ..

Make balanced & informed choices

Q. I am student of Class X. I have a lot of confusion about becoming a psychologist after completing my studies. Will I get a high paying job? Is there scope for it in Chhattisgarh? I fear my studies going in vain in my city Raipur? I want to be well sett..


By RITA AGGARWAL, SHADES OF GREY She was feeling totally trapped in her fairly new in-laws family- no escape from the situation seemed visible to her. Her friends gave her suggestions and she would strike it down by saying ‘no, but how will this..

Success is spending your life your own way

  By T G L IYER, A diary is like a personal album made up of word pictures. Writing in it and looking back over what you have written can be very useful. A diary shows where you have been physically and who you were emotionally and psychologicall..

Journey through the frames of India

  By PIYUSH PRAKASH, Roger Chen, a Canadian diplomat, presented his photographic show titled “Devotion- A Journey through India ” in Delhi recently. The writer speaks to the lensman who captured some candid moments of people and their..

Immune yourself against negativity

  Q. I have a peculiar problem. When I walk, my head automatically bends down and I feel everyone is talking about me. Also I wanted to discuss a pattern. Since Class IX onwards, now I’m in BA 2nd year, I have developed a habit of going to s..

Help in depression is a must

    Q. I am a college student and I have been in a relationship for 2 years with my best friend of 7 to 8 years! Two years ago, he lost his father and that trauma is happening now. He’s asked me to leave him and end relationship. He is..

Light up THE DARK AREA to know yourself

  By T G L IYER, There is a song I remember being sung when one is happy. “Once upon a time, the world was sweeter than we know, but somehow, once upon a time never comes again”. When I was in college, there were many love affairs in..


    By Rita Aggarwal, T he Father was standing outside his estranged wife’s house, with his hands full of toys, gifts and a box with cake for his daughter who would turn nine years old today. He rings the bell, the door is opened by h..

Develop the HABIT OF learning from defeat

  By T G L IYER, M ost people are scared of failure. Don’t take failure too seriously. Go ahead and play the game fully. When you create a bunch of failures, embrace them. Because like schooling they are lessons. I know the case of a man wh..

Introverts are socially inhibited

Introverts are socially inhibited..


  By T G ARORA, I f the companions in a journey are fun to be with, the pleasure of journey doubles and if companions are childhood friends, it becomes manifold. We, a group of six childhood friends, now all in the age group of 55 decided to go t..

It is the mind that matters and makes things happen

    By T G L IYER, B rainstorming was developed by Alex Osborne to enhance group creativity. It can be used alone or with another person. There are four basic rules when we do brainstorming. Quantity leads to quality. The more ideas we prod..


By RITA AGGARWAL,         I t is time we declared the so called normal behaviour on roads as abnormal. The traffic offenses are increasing as laws are being breached rather than preached. I often wonder who issues the license to..

Depression needs to be addressed

  By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I don’t have confidence left in myself and I sleep at 3 am everyday, no matter how early I go to bed. I can’t open up in front of my friends and cannot speak up to teachers to clear my doubts. I'm afraid..

Sewage Surfer

  “It’s a photo that I wish didn’t exist, but now that it does I want everyone to see it. What started as an opportunity to photograph a cute little sea horse turned into one of frustration and sadness as the incoming tide brough..

Live the best & create the future

  A lbert Einstein was once asked what enabled him to make his revolutionary discoveries. He replied: “It is not that I am gifted than anybody else. I am just more curious than the average person and I don’t give-up on a problem until ..


  By DR SHUBHANGI DESHMANE, A trip to Meghalaya (abode of clouds) compelled me to compare it with New Zealand, the place I had visited a year earlier. The serene topography, the foggy mountains, the misty cool weather, absolutely clean water bodi..

Treat depression right away

  Q. I am a student of Government Medical College pursuing MBBS, second year. I am 20 years old and ambitious about making money. I don't want to practice medicine, but want to pursue MBA from a prestigious college. Shall I go with the flow or go ..

Saputara - A Serene Heaven Where God Once Lived

  By DR RASHMIN DESHMUKH, I t is everyone;s fanciful dream to have a glimpse of heaven once in lifetime. And if you truly wish to experience the fancy of being in the Lord's real living place, I earnestly recommend youatrip to this pristine and p..


    By RITA AGGARWAL, SHADES OF GREY A nees dropped out of his professional degree course in the second year and decided to quit it forever. He lost interest in the course in spite of having the aptitude for it. From the time he joined col..

Joy is accepting what YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

  By T G L IYER , If you ask any man in India, what is it that most interferes with his enjoyment, he will say “The struggle for life”. Ours is the only species that can learn to talk, that can develop a conscience and enjoy making th..

Better to be safe than exploited

Q. I am an engineering student. I met a boy 7 months ago and we were in a relation for 6 months. We later broke up as he didn’t want to acknowledge me in front of his friends. He later started dating another girl. Now, as I am trying to move on, he ..

Inner growth is required for TEAMWORK

  By T G L IYER, I f you succeed everywhere, it will wear you down and keep you from achieving excellence. Always think that every problem has many potential solutions. You can’t beat everyone else all the time. You are responsible for what..

My journey In Search Of A Perfect Learning Space!

  By KAJAL GABA, I reckon that I’ am a child at heart and aspire to remain so, till my last breath! Children and the way they think just never ceases to amaze me… My journey into their world started in the serene mountains of Ladhak,..

Volunteering is a great engagement

    Q. I am an 18-year-old boy and have not done well in my NEET exam. It was my childhood desire to become a doctor. I’m confused now. Should I take a drop and reappear or should I opt for another course? My parents are very unhappy. ..

Captivating Kashmir

  By SNEHA TALEWAR, V acations are always refreshing and rejuvenating. It is a much-needed break, one requires to stay away from the worldly affairs for a brief period. Vacations can be more thrilling for those who love to explore new people, pla..

Negotiate with parents

  By RITA AGGARWAL, Q. I was studying in UK for many years and now I have come back to my hometown, Nagpur. It has been very difficult for me to come back and live with my parents again after this time apart. I am too used to my freedom, privacy ..

Adversity introduces a man to himself

  Y ou are the greatest expert on yourself. No one knows more about your hopes, dreams, fear and foibles than you yourself. In your heart, your goals are quite clearly defined and most likely, they exist since your childhood! All of us feel the pr..

Glamour, grit and goals

BY RITA AGGARWAL, ‘There is certain glamour about the white coat which I have loved all my life! My maternal Uncles and Aunts are medical doctors and I have them as my role models’ said Ankita proudly. This pride and passion is important for ..


  By T G L IYER,   Good and bad, right and wrong are merely interpretations that we attach to experience. As with all opposites, we cannot have one without the other. Likewise good health and illness are opposite states that support us to e..

First aid & mental health

  BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologist I t is time we popularised mental health/ illness and the role of psychology in dealing with it. Pop psychology was instrumental in popularising psychology (that’s how it gets its name), tremend..

Aggression can be a sign of depression

  Q. I am from Madhya Pradesh. I have completed my Class XII this year and now I am searching for good colleges. But my performance in entrance exams is not good. So I am frustrated and afraid about my future. How can I cope with this problem, giv..

Witness Mother Nature in all her glory on African safari

    By JAYANTH SHARMA, Africa abounds with incredible sights - the resplendent beauty of the open savannah, the vivid shades of colour in its lush jungles, and its incredibly diverse wildlife. For many of us who are in love with the natural..

In Pursuit Of Indraprastha

      By JAYANT MURALIDHARAN, For several months now, the ruins of New Delhi’s Purana Qila have been hosting a bunch of special guests onamission to unearth the city’s ancient past. Officials from the Archaeological Survey..


  By T G L IYER, The Great Russian Sprinter and Olympics Gold Medal winner Valeri Borsov in an interview mentioned his approach to the 100 meter sprint run. He said: “By learning to draw a mental picture of the race, while still at the star..

The forgotten games of India

  By UTTARA GANGOPADHYAY, Playing board games is a leisure activity people indulged in for ages. In India, the board game tradition goes back to ancient times, but have been lost into oblivion now. Sawantwadi in Maharashtra is a quaint little to..

Career planning needs clarity of goals

  Q. I am 24-year-old girl and attracted to several boys. I face difficulty in remaining loyal to a single guy for a long time. I know what I am doing is not right, but can’t help it. I was eight years old when I was physically assaulted by ..


  If your aim in life is vague, your performance will also be vague, your contribution meager. If your input in life is little, your output also will be little. No human being has that sufficient foresight to build plans which need no alteration o..


  A Befitting Place For Self-Retreat, By DR SWAPNA KHANZODE T here comes a phase in life where you just flow, flow... with the flow of life. Life takes shape on its own. The shape that God has destined and not the one which you have designed for ..

Do not reinforce the crush

Q. I am a 15-year-old girl. I have a crush on my physics teacher who is also the vice-principal of my school. I have not shared my feelings towards him with anyone, because I am afraid that people would mock me. But these feelings are getting the better o..

Fundamentals of mental hygiene

    BY RITA AGGARWAL Consulting Psychologist, Mental Health Awareness Week (May 14 - 20) W hen Ritu was a kid and suffered from a childhood disability, her mother was a pillar of strength and oft repeated one sentence that soothed her ner..

Getting around inCASCAIS

  By RAJIV YASHROY, Once a humble fishing village, Cascais has been attracting vacationers from all over the world. The picturesque city is not short on culture where one can get around walking or cycling... C ascais is a small resort town locat..