Develop the HABIT OF learning from defeat

  By T G L IYER, M ost people are scared of failure. Don’t take failure too seriously. Go ahead and play the game fully. When you create a bunch of failures, embrace them. Because like schooling they are lessons. I know the case of a man wh..

Introverts are socially inhibited

Introverts are socially inhibited..


  By T G ARORA, I f the companions in a journey are fun to be with, the pleasure of journey doubles and if companions are childhood friends, it becomes manifold. We, a group of six childhood friends, now all in the age group of 55 decided to go t..

It is the mind that matters and makes things happen

    By T G L IYER, B rainstorming was developed by Alex Osborne to enhance group creativity. It can be used alone or with another person. There are four basic rules when we do brainstorming. Quantity leads to quality. The more ideas we prod..


By RITA AGGARWAL,         I t is time we declared the so called normal behaviour on roads as abnormal. The traffic offenses are increasing as laws are being breached rather than preached. I often wonder who issues the license to..

Depression needs to be addressed

  By RITA AGGARWAL,   Q. I don’t have confidence left in myself and I sleep at 3 am everyday, no matter how early I go to bed. I can’t open up in front of my friends and cannot speak up to teachers to clear my doubts. I'm afraid..

Sewage Surfer

  “It’s a photo that I wish didn’t exist, but now that it does I want everyone to see it. What started as an opportunity to photograph a cute little sea horse turned into one of frustration and sadness as the incoming tide brough..

Live the best & create the future

  A lbert Einstein was once asked what enabled him to make his revolutionary discoveries. He replied: “It is not that I am gifted than anybody else. I am just more curious than the average person and I don’t give-up on a problem until ..


  By DR SHUBHANGI DESHMANE, A trip to Meghalaya (abode of clouds) compelled me to compare it with New Zealand, the place I had visited a year earlier. The serene topography, the foggy mountains, the misty cool weather, absolutely clean water bodi..

Treat depression right away

  Q. I am a student of Government Medical College pursuing MBBS, second year. I am 20 years old and ambitious about making money. I don't want to practice medicine, but want to pursue MBA from a prestigious college. Shall I go with the flow or go ..

Saputara - A Serene Heaven Where God Once Lived

  By DR RASHMIN DESHMUKH, I t is everyone;s fanciful dream to have a glimpse of heaven once in lifetime. And if you truly wish to experience the fancy of being in the Lord's real living place, I earnestly recommend youatrip to this pristine and p..


    By RITA AGGARWAL, SHADES OF GREY A nees dropped out of his professional degree course in the second year and decided to quit it forever. He lost interest in the course in spite of having the aptitude for it. From the time he joined col..

Joy is accepting what YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

  By T G L IYER , If you ask any man in India, what is it that most interferes with his enjoyment, he will say “The struggle for life”. Ours is the only species that can learn to talk, that can develop a conscience and enjoy making th..

Better to be safe than exploited

Q. I am an engineering student. I met a boy 7 months ago and we were in a relation for 6 months. We later broke up as he didn’t want to acknowledge me in front of his friends. He later started dating another girl. Now, as I am trying to move on, he ..

Inner growth is required for TEAMWORK

  By T G L IYER, I f you succeed everywhere, it will wear you down and keep you from achieving excellence. Always think that every problem has many potential solutions. You can’t beat everyone else all the time. You are responsible for what..

My journey In Search Of A Perfect Learning Space!

  By KAJAL GABA, I reckon that I’ am a child at heart and aspire to remain so, till my last breath! Children and the way they think just never ceases to amaze me… My journey into their world started in the serene mountains of Ladhak,..

Volunteering is a great engagement

    Q. I am an 18-year-old boy and have not done well in my NEET exam. It was my childhood desire to become a doctor. I’m confused now. Should I take a drop and reappear or should I opt for another course? My parents are very unhappy. ..

Captivating Kashmir

  By SNEHA TALEWAR, V acations are always refreshing and rejuvenating. It is a much-needed break, one requires to stay away from the worldly affairs for a brief period. Vacations can be more thrilling for those who love to explore new people, pla..

Negotiate with parents

  By RITA AGGARWAL, Q. I was studying in UK for many years and now I have come back to my hometown, Nagpur. It has been very difficult for me to come back and live with my parents again after this time apart. I am too used to my freedom, privacy ..

Adversity introduces a man to himself

  Y ou are the greatest expert on yourself. No one knows more about your hopes, dreams, fear and foibles than you yourself. In your heart, your goals are quite clearly defined and most likely, they exist since your childhood! All of us feel the pr..

Glamour, grit and goals

BY RITA AGGARWAL, ‘There is certain glamour about the white coat which I have loved all my life! My maternal Uncles and Aunts are medical doctors and I have them as my role models’ said Ankita proudly. This pride and passion is important for ..


  By T G L IYER,   Good and bad, right and wrong are merely interpretations that we attach to experience. As with all opposites, we cannot have one without the other. Likewise good health and illness are opposite states that support us to e..

First aid & mental health

  BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologist I t is time we popularised mental health/ illness and the role of psychology in dealing with it. Pop psychology was instrumental in popularising psychology (that’s how it gets its name), tremend..

Aggression can be a sign of depression

  Q. I am from Madhya Pradesh. I have completed my Class XII this year and now I am searching for good colleges. But my performance in entrance exams is not good. So I am frustrated and afraid about my future. How can I cope with this problem, giv..

Witness Mother Nature in all her glory on African safari

    By JAYANTH SHARMA, Africa abounds with incredible sights - the resplendent beauty of the open savannah, the vivid shades of colour in its lush jungles, and its incredibly diverse wildlife. For many of us who are in love with the natural..

In Pursuit Of Indraprastha

      By JAYANT MURALIDHARAN, For several months now, the ruins of New Delhi’s Purana Qila have been hosting a bunch of special guests onamission to unearth the city’s ancient past. Officials from the Archaeological Survey..


  By T G L IYER, The Great Russian Sprinter and Olympics Gold Medal winner Valeri Borsov in an interview mentioned his approach to the 100 meter sprint run. He said: “By learning to draw a mental picture of the race, while still at the star..

The forgotten games of India

  By UTTARA GANGOPADHYAY, Playing board games is a leisure activity people indulged in for ages. In India, the board game tradition goes back to ancient times, but have been lost into oblivion now. Sawantwadi in Maharashtra is a quaint little to..

Career planning needs clarity of goals

  Q. I am 24-year-old girl and attracted to several boys. I face difficulty in remaining loyal to a single guy for a long time. I know what I am doing is not right, but can’t help it. I was eight years old when I was physically assaulted by ..


  If your aim in life is vague, your performance will also be vague, your contribution meager. If your input in life is little, your output also will be little. No human being has that sufficient foresight to build plans which need no alteration o..


  A Befitting Place For Self-Retreat, By DR SWAPNA KHANZODE T here comes a phase in life where you just flow, flow... with the flow of life. Life takes shape on its own. The shape that God has destined and not the one which you have designed for ..

Do not reinforce the crush

Q. I am a 15-year-old girl. I have a crush on my physics teacher who is also the vice-principal of my school. I have not shared my feelings towards him with anyone, because I am afraid that people would mock me. But these feelings are getting the better o..

Fundamentals of mental hygiene

    BY RITA AGGARWAL Consulting Psychologist, Mental Health Awareness Week (May 14 - 20) W hen Ritu was a kid and suffered from a childhood disability, her mother was a pillar of strength and oft repeated one sentence that soothed her ner..

Getting around inCASCAIS

  By RAJIV YASHROY, Once a humble fishing village, Cascais has been attracting vacationers from all over the world. The picturesque city is not short on culture where one can get around walking or cycling... C ascais is a small resort town locat..


  By T G L IYER, Nurture your mind with great thoughts, to believe in the Heroic which makes Heroes,” said BenjamiN Disraeli. Whenever, you notice people supporting your higher values, you tend to elevate them in your mind. When you do so, ..

Cry baby or fighting fit

A s a seasoned practising psychologist, observing and analysing human behaviour comes like a reflex action - one does not have to go into deep thought with a magnifying glass. The only outward manifestation of all thoughts, beliefs and attitudes is - beha..

Good career choices lead to success

  Q. I am a young boy and a few weeks ago I fell down and had an injury. I was operated upon and I am feeling well now. But I feel like my life has ended now and I am good for nothing. My body has become weak and it pains all night. Someone casual..

CWG Medal a huge boost for me: SHOOTER MEHULI

  By KAUSHIK KUMAR, Teenaged shooting sensation Mehuli Ghosh reckons that her silver medal at the just-concluded 2018 Commonwealth Games (CWG) is a huge boost a sit will help her at future competitions. The 17-year-old Kolkata girl had surpassed ..

‘Hanging’ Gardens, literally

    REWINDING THE PAST The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, was located 300 miles to the north in Babylon’s greatest rival Nineveh, a leading Oxford-based historian has claimed. After research..

There is sheer animalvigour in finishing first

  T G L IYER, I f you are anticipating the worst, while hoping for the best. You will get the worst. The things that happen to you are in direct accordance with the things where you place your faith. Your belief instructs the power within to prod..

Online aptitude tests are best 

  Q. I am 27-year-old girl and I am very worried about the prospect of getting married. I’m not dating anyone and I’ve not found anyone worth getting married to either. When I see people near me and hear stories of harassment, domestic..


ON THE TRAIL OF THE GREAT SILK ROAD As the UN agency on World Tourism focuses on the old Silk Road to promote transnational tourism, the author visits Uzbekistan, which celebrates its legacy of stunning Islamic architecture... T he trail of Uzbekistan..

The key ingredient for ACHIEVEMENT IS RISK

    By T G L IYER, T oday, the National mindset is shifting how risk can create rewards. Those who believed in safe careers a generation ago now enter the area of risk-taking. Suddenly, risk takers are the new heroes. If we accept the versi..

Walk away

  BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologist S ometimes you feel so irritated with the other that you could bang him/her on the head and regret it later.You might want to expose the stupidity of the other in front of the group. You might like to ..

Stress can cause headaches too

    Q.I always read your articles in The Hitavada. I want your opinion regarding future subjects and career. I am studying in Class X and I scored 89% in Class IX. My highest score was in Maths 98. Ma'am, I am confused about future course of..


  By NIKITA DHANWATAY Istanbul is Turkey's largest city with more than 13 million people, no other city on earth sits astride two continents. Not just age old, for centuries it was the most multicultural city in Europe on whose streets more than ..

Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones

  By T G L IYER, Earlier, it was assumed that everyone learnt the same way and one teaching method could be right to everyone. Today, we know that different ways have different effects. Teaching is best when adapted to the specific learning needs..

Way to Ram Rajya

  By SWAMI SIVANANDAJI MAHARAJ Blessed Immortal Selves! The advent of “Rama Rajya” verily implies theushering in of prosperity and plenty, blessedness, bliss and peace on earth and goodwill among men. If such a state of true happine..

Read, revise and recall

      Q: I am a 21-year- old guy, highly addicted to weed. All my friends smoke it. In the beginning my friends used to say it is not addictive, so I tried it and in no time I got very addicted to it. We know it is illegal, but it is v..

Change course of study if necessary

EMOTIONS By RITA AGGARWAL Consulting Psychologist   S M I am a student of MBA-Integrated course. I couldn’t get admitted to any Engineering college after my Class XII, not that I wanted to study it. I wanted to explore other options like..

Dazzling Dubai

  By VANASHREE CHILKAPURE,   When my husband first disclosed the destination of our first foreign travel, the first thing that crossed my mind, orrather what crosses each lady’s mind was shopping, and I knew I will find ample opportun..

Many strings attached

  By HEENA KHANDELWAL, Belonging to Manganiars, a community of Muslims known for their classical folk music, Jaisalmer-based Chanan Khan and his preceding generations have been engaged with folk music professionally. They perform at weddings, mel..

Move on with your life

  Q. I am a 19 year old girl. I like a guy from my college and he liked me too. After a year, he suddenly started behaving differently and asked me to move on. I asked him the reason many times, but he didn’t have one. He wants to remains fr..

Pressure With Pleasure

    BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologist There is no life without pressure. Think about it. Some of our best performances are under pressure and then pleasure follows. We feel happy when a job is well done. We feel even happier when ..

BHARAT The Power Of A Name

  By SADHGURU, ISHA FOUNDATION, Sadhguru, in conversation with Dr Kiran Bedi, explores the science behind Bharat, India’s original name, and looks at how the culture in this nation was carefully By SADHGURU, ISHA FOUNDATION crafted for ulti..

Imagination is our most unlimited resource

    By T G L IYER, Psychologist Edward Tolman called imagination as ‘Vicarious trial and error learning’. In the real world, we deal with objects that we can manipulate and interact with directly. Vicarious, on the other hand me..

Brown is beautiful

  EMOTIONS BY RITA AGGARWAL AD  I am 15-year-old girl in Class X and good in studies. Previously, I was very confident, but now as I’m growing up, I am not satisfied with the way I look. I have a dark skin tone and my friends tease m..

Expiry date for grudges

SHADES OF GREY BY RITA AGGARWAL Consulting Psychologist I am always amazed with the huge emotional baggage that people carry on their heads and hearts for years! They can go into a rewind within seconds and bring out the vivid details of the past hur..

Emotional healing after post trauma vital

  EMOTIONS BY RITA AGGARWAL S M I am 26-year-old working girl. My parents have been looking for a guy for me since last two years and lately they are pressurising me to get married. But the very thought of it scares me. It has happened that on ..

Love and care for your mind

SHADES OF GREY BY RITA AGGARWAL ‘When you suffer a physical illness, you get sympathy. However when you suffer a mental illness, all you get is shame and ridicule’. Why? The stigma attached to mental illness is huge and hence a big barrie..

Niagara By Dr Pragati Vasant Khalatkar

    Niagara By Dr Pragati Vasant Khalatkar ‘Falling in love at first sight’ phrase might have had its origin at Niagara falls. As you walk towards the fall, the humming sound of Niagara fall starts hypnotising you and once you r..

Mobile addiction is a disorder now

  Q.I am 37 years old male working in an IT firm. After spending eight hours in the office, I head back home everyday. I was doing fine but now I have started realising that my life is not going anywhere. I just feel stuck on one place. I feel lik..

Be a volunteer and be purposefully employed

  By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist)   Q. I am 24 years old guy. I am in love with my cousin. I feel terrible to even say this, but it happened two years back when we met. She has no clue that I have these feelings and I know I am n..

Bridging the communication gap

  SHADES OF GREY BY RITA AGGARWAL,   Consulting Psychologist ‘Mom, why do you always see the negative side of reality?’ asked her daughter Tina. ‘What negative side are you talking of ’, asks Mom? ‘Why do you a..

KAZIRANGA An opera in wild &asonata in serenity

  By SOMEN SENGUPTA, The inexplicable excitement of Kaziranga can only be compared with a live demonstration of Nat-Geo Wild channel watched with naked eyes. The world inside Kaziranga national park of Assam is mystic yet natural. It is because t..

Go and adopt a child

      Q. I am 21 years old female. I like one guy. He seems to like to me first and used to text me and call me all the time. He made me feel special and gave me lot of attention. But now he is acting distant and weird. I am scared if ..

Marriage counselling and guidance vital

    Q. I am 45-year-old man and I have a daughter who is 22 years old. She had an affair before about which I got to know after I saw her phone. Since then I have become very insecure as I want her to marry a guy whom I like. I think my inse..

The many faces of happiness - III

  BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologis Happiness is the most needed virtue today as we realise that so many good aspects of life are on the decline- such as mental health, physical health, ethical values, moral behaviour, social decency, hon..


  By RAMESH KANITKAR,  interesting debate is taking place among stakeholders and enthusiasts in the Indian startup ecosystem. It pertains to whether consumer internet companies should aim for sustainable profitability or gun for complete mar..

Meditate to handle stress

EMOTIONS BY RITA AGGARWAL C K My husband is showing signs of stress and has begun shouting at me and the children. He has a difficult job and we try to adjust to his needs but now it is becoming unbearable. Even I feel drained of energy with burden o..


                  SHADES OF GREY BY RITA AGGARWAL Martin Seligman, the founder of the Positive Psychology movement in the USA, mentions an experiment in his famous book, Authentic Happiness, on sch..


  SHADES OF GREY  By RITA AGGARWAL When there is hunger in the stomach, intake of food gives a great sense of relief and happiness. When a poor beggar finds money on the road, he feels lucky and happy. When you are tired and sleepy after a ..

Geysers to Glaciers It’s ‘hot’

  By AASAWARI SHENOLIKAR, New Zealand, a tiny nation made up of two islands North Island and South Island is a dream destination for travellers. A couple of weeks is too lessatime to explore the unique landscapes and stunning beauty . Dominated ..

Not such a green scenario

  BELIEVE IT OR NOT Carbon released by plant respiration may be around 30 per cent higher than previously predicted, a study has found. Researchers from the University of Minnesota in the US suggest that as the mean global temperature increases,..

What is important is that lies within us

  By T G L IYER, Ideas are energised by you during your regular workday. If you require a great idea, suddenly your mind scans quickly. You mentally pull what you need out of your mental storehouse. You will use it by reflex correcting and perfec..

Do not be a permanent spouse-counsellor

Wilson Q. I am 24 years old male. I am doing my training as a pilot, two more years are left in the training. I met one girl online on dating site tinder. We hit it off really well and since last one month I am talking to her and we are on good note. Ev..


  By ARUN KUMAR, Period of Journey Between June to September every year. Rest of the year is snow covered and non-approachable. How to go Since Kailash Mansarovar falls in Tibet, China, visa or permit is required for Indian Citizens. There are 2 ..

Life is a continuous process to explore your potential

    By T G L IYER, THE Right way to live is to cultivate right thoughts, do right action, cultivate right behavior, form right habits, have right attitudes and reach the right destiny. In each area of your life, it is extremely important to..

The Benefit Finder

BY RITA AGGARWAL, Consulting Psychologist, SHADES OF GREY I remember the quote by Henry David Thoreau, (the philosopher and author of Walden), that “the faultfinder will find faults even in paradise!”We all know and have experienced the &ls..

Heal your wounds

Q. I am 21 years old girl. I am studying Science. Since I was a little kid my dad used to physically abuse me. He used to yell at me and thrash me very badly. Whenever I think about it I still feel very scared and it messes up my mind. I am not able to ca..

The mind moves you towards your dominant thoughts

  By T G L IYER, If you do not have the foundation for greatness, you will find ways and means of striking back at the person who injured you and possibly go so far as to cause that person to lose his job. In the event you will be the more unfort..

SALZBURG Soulful Sojourn Into The World Of Symphony

  By DR SWAPNA KHANZODE, Life is truly seasons, sometimes dry arid summer, sometimes beautiful spring or sometimes just a transition like autumn.. but in all the phases, there is one thing in common, come what may, there is alwa..

Stop the violence

Q. Since last two- three years, I have developed the problemof over-thinking things. A continuous cycle of unwanted thoughts remain in my mind all the time and despite trying, I’m unable to get rid of them. It is affecting my studies and I have lost..

Clear the clutter from your mind

                  Harsh   I am 21 years old. I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. I tried quitting it, but I am not able to. I even steal money from my parents and my girlfriend's purse. I am sc..

Letting them go

EMOTIONS By RITA AGGARWAL                   NS My child is behaving badly since some months. He is 9-years-old and good in studies. Though he is very active at home, he sits quietly in the school...

Make yourself employable

                  Anonymous  Q: Recently, you might have heard about the lost girlfrom my town Amravati. She is a 12-13year girl who went missing. After police and family drama, the girl was tr..

Jaldapara National Park:

  By SOMEN SENGUPTA, Where beasts nest in beauty  Be prepared for anything once you enter Jaldapara National Park of Doars. Anything means any event that can be counted as a sheer delight or a massive disappointment to a wildlife enthusiast..

Expand the circle of relations

Q. I'm a student of class XI from Bhilai. I want to pursue a career as a singer in English music, abroad. I take Hindi vocal classes and can sing well, but I want to become an English singer as I'm more passionate about English music. Should I go for it? ..

Purposeful engagement

Q. I am in class 12 right now, and less than 4 months remain for my boards! But whenever I sit to study, lot of thoughts crowd my mind. Though I push them away, they keep coming back. Please help me focus better. Ans. This is more like a symptom of worr..

Saving depressed young minds

  Ashi was irritated most of the times and she would lose patience with her younger sister. She had a school board examination on her head and she was worried of the outcome and her results. She did not like missing even a single mark in her exami..

Take a minute, change a life

By RITA AGGARWAL Ihope you are not thinking of suicide”, asked the counsellor. He smiled, looked into her penetrating eyes and said meekly “how did you know”. “I have been thinking about it for quite some time now. The only pers..

A stitch in time saves nine

  ■ By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) A stitch in time saves nine The columnist can be reached at B/301, Shat -Tarka Aptts, Surendra Nagar, R.P.T.S Road, Nagpur, or on 7719975840, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at rita_aggar..

Face the challenge

EMOTIONS By RITA AGGARWAL A C Q.I am 21 years old and the only earning member of my family. My father is unemployed since last one year and hence I have to work to support my family as we have a loan of 20 lakh. I had a fight with my best friend and ..

Believe in yourself

I am in Class X and I not able to concentrate on my studies at all. My mind wanders off when I sit to study. I am deeply attracted to boys and frequently lie to my parents. I also stole money from my house some time back. Though my parents came to know ..

Introverts can be trained in social skills


Expectations in proportion

SHADES OF GREY BY RITA AGGARWAL I t is commonplace to think that we should have expectations in life for we must look forward to greater and better things and plan a good life for ourselves. But wise sages say we should not have expectations in life f..


My children are very fond of junk food. Now, I am worried about them as lately I realised that it is not good for them. My son eats noodles and wants it daily in tiffin. I am a working mother and confess that I have made fast food at times to save time ..

Lonavala and Lavasa

  By DR PRATIKSHA MAYEE S ummer heat in Nagpur simply gets unbearable in the month of May. Schools and colleges tend to reopen towards the end of June so one tends to have a vacation before the routine sets in. With the onset of monsoon the West..

Victims of coaching fads

  Q.I am a student of Pharmacy and I was in relationship with my classmate for one year. Last April, he broke up with me for another girl. Though he has drastic mood swings, he continues to be my best friend. Despite being in a relationship, he ge..

Save girls from seduction by adults

Q. It seems my friend is involved with some person whois above 50 years in age. She is just 19. He comes to herhome regularly. He is married. She often goes with himforlongdrives.Herparentsbelievehimblindly.Shepassedher 12th standard with 53%. She score..