Q. My daughter is nine-and-half years old and is very intelligent in studies and other activities. Recently what is bothering me is her nature. She answers back, fights for small issues, makes a fuss for food and ignores me. I stay away from home in another city for my work and my wife and child live with her parents. I am often getting complaints about her behavior and am feeling worried. My wife is not much worried and says it is normal. But I am not taking it so easily. I want her to grow up into a good woman and make a good career for herself. My wife is a housewife and is a very good person and mother. Please give me some hints and guidelines to handle her. I will be obliged.

 

Ans. If your daughter is very intelligent and has begun to mis behave at this age, it could mean a few things. One, she may be a gifted child with a superior IQ (intelligence) and is more matured than her age children. If this is true, then she will need better understanding and handling by you parents. For high IQ children are often mis-fits in society, rebel earlier than their age and assert themselves more than others. You are right about grooming her in an appropriate manner so that she evolves into a good and successful human being. This is a wonderful thought and needs discussion and further investigation. She needs to be assessed for her IQ levels and then we need to understand the nature and cause of rebellion. If she is guided and channelised in a proper manner and proper direction, she can be a wonderful person.

 

Anisha

 

Q. We are tired with my husband’s drinking habit. I feel it is getting worse with the years. Now he is drinking at home and daily used to it. In spite of my telling him all the bad things that can happen, he does not listen to us. My children are grown up and going to college and they feel ashamed of their father when he misbehaves at home. One day he came home drunk and started shouting in the colony of the housing society. Everyone woke up and saw him drunk and started advising me in many ways. They say I must leave him and ask him to go away to another home but I can’t do that. My children are attached to their father in some way and hate him also when he misbehaves. My life is messed up with this one bad habit of my husband. Please guide me and tell me the right path.

 

Ans. I can empathise with you. Addiction is a bad disease and disturbs everything around it, the family atmosphere, the peace of mind, the social connections and you and the children’s life. There is no happiness for everyday is a new battle. Such people need medical treatment although they deny it. He could be admitted in a drug rehabilitation center for a few months where counselling is also part of medical treatment. Take the help of his family and parents. It would also help if all of you get together, discuss the issue in detail and take a stand unitedly. Motivate him for admission in a rehabilitation center and force him to do so. This is the only way to get him to give up.

 

Note: Readers are requested to write short queries in approx 150 to 200 words. Furthermore, do not use abbreviations in career queries to avoid confusion. The columnist can be reached at [email protected] or visit www.manodaya.org for further details.