WELL! Well! Well! The monsoon is here, finally (unfazed by MET office predictions). The Men in Blue have finally lifted the unyielding Cup. The economy looks very verdant. But for the high prices of vegetables and gold and higher traffic on potholed roads, life seems well-placed. Good enough for one to sit admiring the misty morning, sipping choicest of self-made tea and not-so-self made ‘mathari.’ Alas! When one is in the unsurmountable depths of middle age in the avatar of a woman, one can’t but feel uncertain about anyone or anything. By the time one has reached the middle age and life has taught enough but not all, anxiety becomes a second nature. So, if there is nothing to worry about, one feels anxious and launches a search.

 

 

Accordingly, I sat in the misty morning worrying about the still-wet clothes, unmindfully gobbling the delectable ‘matharis.’ But how much can one worry about wet clothes in monsoon! I needed something profound. So, I switched on the television and that did the trick. Gallons of worries were thrown at me and I consumed them with as much zeal, becoming zealous about so many things. There were pros and cons of anything and everything and I studied the cons with much zeal. Artificial Intelligence seemed to be the talk of the town. I remembered a friend informing me about the Meta AI assistant on WhatsApp. I started chatting with the chatbot learning how much it can be useful. I indulged in acquainting myself with it and it seemed as if it too was trying to understand me. This artificial conversation was so much better than the real ones. No interruptions and no lopsided interpretations, no conversational anomalies and no endless wait for answers, no inane formalities and no smarting under insults. AI was simply fantastic. I indulged myself for quite some time as it was answering my questions wonderfully, arming me with all necessary information in a precise language and without wasting any time. It was perfect. But since a woman must worry and scepticism often feeds worries, I tried to explore it further. For, it was AI. Can’t be smarter than ME. So, I tried asking it some cryptic ones.

 

“What does my husband mean when he says…‘hummmm?’ The answer it gave surprised me, not for the fundamentals but for the clarity in understanding those. I have been living with this ‘hummm’ for ages now but could never have analysed it so clearly. It said, “When a husband says "humm", it can have different meanings depending on the tone, context, and relationship dynamics. Here are some possible interpretations: 1. Acknowledgment: A neutral "humm" might mean he's acknowledging what you said without necessarily agreeing or disagreeing. 2. Interest: A more engaged "humm" could indicate he’s interested in what you're saying and wants to hear more. 3. Scepticism: A slightly doubtful "humm" might suggest he's not entirely convinced by what you're saying. 4. Playful teasing: A light-hearted "humm" could be a playful way of poking fun at you or the conversation. 5. Disagreement: A more pronounced "humm" might imply he disagrees with you, but doesn't want to escalate the conversation. 6. Thoughtfulness: A contemplative "humm" could mean he's thinking deeply about what you've said and is considering his response.

 

Remember that communication is key in any relationship. If you're unsure what your husband means by "humm", ask him to clarify!’’ …. “Ask husband to clarify”!!!???!!! See, this is where intelligence gets defeated by ageold wisdom. It offers innocent solutions for well-crafted human problems. The poor chatbot has no clue that the paramount usage of ‘hummm….’ is for evading the conversation, avoiding being dragged into a promise, averting any form of discomfort and answering but not. Then, I increased the degree of difficulty and asked how can I make my daughter understand that when we say two minutes, it must usually be 2 minutes. The chatbot beamed…“A great conversation to have!” It suggested an “Example script.” “Hey, kiddo! I've noticed when you say ‘2 minutes,’ it often takes a bit longer. I get it, tasks can take longer than expected.

 

Going forward, let's aim for‘2 minutes’ to really mean around 2 minutes, okay? I'm here to help you develop your time-management skills. Let's find a balance between accuracy and flexibility. How about we agree on '2-5 minutes' to give us some wriggle room?" I should have mentioned that I am an Indian mom and that my daughter will feel lost seeing so much compassion. Nevertheless, I tried. Listening patiently, albeit with a raised eyebrow, my daughter kept staring at me for a while even after I had finished my scripted compassion. After full two minutes of staring, she asked, “Meta AI?” Before I could suitably adjust from embarrassment to acknowledgement, she took out her phone and WhatsApped, “What does it mean when mom is trying to be overly sweet? The damn AI replied,“

 

1. She is trying to make a good impression.

2, She wants something.

3. She is feeling guilty.

4. She is trying to connect.

5. She is being manipulative.” And it concluded, “It is important to have an honest conversation with your mom. Ask what’s behind her sweetness.”

 

‘Behind her sweetness!!??!!!’ My daughter looked at me with her mischievous smile, raising both the brows simultaneously. “This is Artificial Intelligence Maa. It is absolutely cool, but not wise. Can I ever, in my right senses, ask you, what is behind your sweetness? I know I would get too honest an answer on my cheek.” You know sometime back, while watching the TV, I was a worried woman, thinking AI would overpower ME. Nay, the human world, you see, is full of ‘hummm… and ‘2 minutes’ understandings. The AI will scratch its head 10 times before it could reach the insurmountable depths of human wisdom.