Weight & See

 

 

 

 

“CHUTKI bhar sindoor ki keemat tum kya jaano, Dev Babu,” was what kept running through my mind when discussion at the coffeetable centered around Vinesh Phogat’s 100 gms debacle. While the group debated hotly the Phogat case - some talking in favour, others not so favourably, my thoughts raced to the countless times when a matter of grams may have meant, in my case anyway, the difference between life and death. The pesky grams, that one might think of to be totally insignificant, canmake - or break - your day, your plans, and sometimes even play havoc with your sanity. By now you all are aware that the kitchen is my haven, my stress buster. All that I want to do in my spare time is cook, cook and cook. Withtheworldwideweb inundated with culinary videos, and withs uch videos poppin gup every now and then on my mobile, it is but natural for me to try my hand at this, that and everything. While most recipes turn out to be text book perfect,culinary master pieces,afew are total disaster.

 

On introspection, I gauge that the mess happens when ever I do not stick to the measurements as listed by the chefs. Savouries that are not up to the mark, can be rectified - a little salt, a little water or a dash of masala can do the trick. But if it’sasweet, and God forbid it belongs to the ‘baking’ category-if your measurements are off by even a whisker, the outcome can be disastrous. Baking is not my forte, but then wanting to please my better half who lives for and would die for anything sweet (These days I am in a good mood where he is concerned),I triedmy hand at baking a cake. 200 gms flour was clearly mentioned in the recipe. Thinking I was a pro at muthi measurement, I decided to eyeball the exact weight, relying on my muthi. Well, the aroma was heavenly, the output - the sponge cake turned out to be just the opposite. Afew grams was responsible forthe inedible mess.

 

An expert baker, my pal Amita scoffedatmy failed attempt.“Baking is chemistry,”shestated,“adding just the right amount is the secrettoagood bake.”It was then I realised that adding a few extra grams of sugar can turnyour‘just-sweet-enough’ cake intoa slab of solid glucose. Cut back the butter by a few grams, and you’d haveaproduct drier than the Atacama desert. “It’s all about a delicate balance,” she averred.One wrong flickof your hand - a pinch of too much salt, a dash of too little baking powder - and your Great Baking momentis turned into a kitchen catastrophe. These grams count even in regular cooking. Evertried making daal fortwo, and then endedupfeeding the entire building because you thought,“how much difference can a few more grams of daal make?” In a daal tadka meant for two, add a smashed garlic clove, perfect. Since I amahuge garlic fan, also believing that eating garlic is good for heart health, added three cloves - Well, I wasn’t allowed to speak face to face with the entire family for a day after consuming the garlic infused daal.

 

After the food fiasco, we have to talk about fitness - another issue that falls in the ‘bane’ category. Every morning, first at home, and then at the gym, a few hundred grams turns me from a champ to chump in a heartbeat. Foraweek, like a rabbit on a health kick, I am only gorgingonsal ads - without any delicious dressings. And just when I think,I might have lost half a kilo, the scale cooks a snook, “No way-you’vegained 200 gms from the lastweighin.” How? How is that even possible? When I started questioning myself, I realised that while storing the grocery items, inadvertently I had popped in a couple of almonds. Even as I realised thatthis doesn’tfitin my dietregimen, I couldn’t spit them out. They are Rs 2000 a kilo. It would be blasphemy spitting them out. A few grams in, the output ruins your entire planning. And then you want to lift extra weights in the gym - to shed the extra pounds gainedby eating a coupleof almonds. And so you add a few extra grams to the barbell.

 

As you get into position and lift the barbell off the ground, that extra bit of weight transforms the exercise from a challenging workout to an action where pains ears through thebody.The barbellis in midair-you’restuck in a limbo, half-lifting, half-flailing, with your gym buddies wondering whether to come to yourrescue orjust let you learn an important lesson about over confidence bordering on stupidity. But the worst of the lot ofthe ‘Weight & See’ - literally - are the airlines. They are micromanagers at the tiniest gram level, counting even to the millionth place after the decimal point. I am sure that each of us has gone through harrowing times regarding weight of the luggage at the airport. You weigh your check-in baggage hundred times at home,dit to the cabin baggage.And you hold your breath when the suitcase is placed on the scale, praying fervently, “God, please let it not cross the prescribed limit.”How canGodhelphere?You are the one who has stuffed the suitcase to its maximum capacity and more. “Ma’am,” the dreaded moment has arrived as the airline staff addresses you,“yourluggage is overweight by 500 gms.” And then you smile sheepishly, and plead with herto‘make adjustments,this one time’, while telling her how you are the most loyal customer of that particular airline, preferring this to any other airline.... Woh Hindi mein ek kahawat hai, ‘Kaanon pe juun tak nahin rengi' is what happens at the opposite end of the counter.

 

The attendantlooks at you, and you suddenly see those invisible horns on her head. The expression says it all,“We both know your suitcase is over the prescribed limit, and I’m about to make your life more complicated.” And suddenly you are that person, holding up the line, frantically unzipping your suitcase and making life-or-death decisions about which items to shift or discard. Toiletries, that extra pair of shoes that was stuffed at the last minute, or the novel that has suddenly became too heavy. You are fidgeting with the items in your suitcase in front of a number of impatient travellers - your undergarments, stuffed in a bundle are on the show as you redistribute the load between your cabin baggage and the suitcase, hoping that no one will notice the 100 gms extra that you just added to your backpack. You’ve succeeded in the suitcase being within the limit, but you’ve just shifted your problem elsewhere. And that you find when the guard at the security check in counter doesn’t allow your backpack to go under the X-Ray machine as it is too heavy.

 

Aaarghhh! If you scream, you will be put on the‘No Flyers Lift’. So you do the next best thing - toss the toiletries in the bin, vowing at that moment to travel light, a promise that is forgotten as soon as you pick up the cabin baggage from the conveyor belt. The takeaway from all these gram-induced woes - never underestimate the power of a few hundred grams. They have the uncanny ability to turn ordinary situations into moments of high drama,comedy,or sheer frustration.Those tiny little weights, so small and yet so mighty, have the power to shape your life in the most unexpected ways. Remember the sheer power of ‘chutki bhar sindoor’andhow it has shaped your entire life - for better or for worse!