' Redefine your goals & aspirations '
Date :29-Sep-2024
By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) :
Q. Lately I’ve been struggling with overwhelming feelings,
difficulty sleeping and trouble concentrating due to work
pressure. I enjoy my work, but I am unable to set necessary
boundaries for myself. I keep feeling like if I don't go out of
the way to do something, I'm not giving my 100%. And later, I end up falling sick even though I know I should have a
work life balance. How do I deal with this? Please guide.
Ans. This happens when you are trying hard to prove something to others and trying to please others. As it often happens it
impacts you negatively as you neglect yourself as you put others
above yourself. It is good you enjoy your work and have set high
targets for yourself, but if it is stressing you out, it means your
high goals are unachievable and need to be redefined. Reset your
goals according to your capacity and comfort. Take a break, call
it leisure time and get off the work treadmill.
Anonymous .
Q. I am a 26-year-old female living in Jabalpur. I am in a
relationship with a boy who is 3 years older than me. I'm
happy because he is just the way I wanted my partner to be
and I really want to make this relationship work. However,
he had a bad breakup about 2 years ago, from which he has
considerably moved on, but he is someone who doesn't know
how to express himself, because of which I often feel maybe
he has not fully moved on from the past. On the other hand,
I know he is someone who will not play with anybody's feelings to get attention, so I feel maybe it's just me who is overthinking. Please help.
Ans. This is a difficult question and a sensitive one. If you question him too much about the past, he may not like it and if you
don’t, he may not open up after all. One way could be to convey
to him that you are open to hearing anything if he is willing or
wanting to share. That message is good enough assurance for him
to express his thoughts and feelings if he wants to do so. Your
comforting stance should be a good communication. Forget the
rest and the past and enjoy the present. He is there with you and
that is the best moment for you
Q. I have a friend who has been experiencing recurring intrusive thoughts and struggles to control his worries. Since some
days he has also been very low on confidence, which is affecting his work productivity. He had an emotionally abusive
relationship earlier, and we were guessing maybe that is the
reason behind whatever is happening, but we were not able
to figure out anything concrete. These thoughts are causing
him distress and affecting his sleep and daily functioning.
I believe he may benefit from professional intervention, and
I'm seeking advice on how to approach the topic with him
sensitively and encourage him to seek therapy. Please guide!
Ans. Past traumas can impact the present and future mental
health in ways that are unclear to the person suffering. An emotionally abusive relationship does leave scars which need healing.
If he does not agree for psychological help, let him try meditation
practices, such as heartfulness practices which help heal the mind
and negative emotions. Any method which appeals to him may
work for him. It could be the first step towards healing.
RITA AGGARWAL
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