It wasn’t too long ago that the social media was flooded with pictures of the ‘very coy’, lovey-dovey couple - Malaika Arora and Arjun Kapoor - flaunting their undying love for each other. Once they made the affair public, for the next six years, the poor public was subjected to ‘the way they inhaled and exhaled, what they ate, how they fed each other, the vacations they spent, the way they held hands’ - it was as if they were the only couple in the world that defined and redefined ‘love’. And then it was a few days ago I learnt that their relationship had gone kaput. Thank God! Insta will breathe a bit easy, I thought. Then just yesterday while browsing the Internet, I happened to read an article that put the blame for their separation on ‘stars’. The detailed write up was how Malaika, a Cancerian would never have been compatible with Arjun, a Scorpion. What exactly were they, then for the six years that they were together? For all these years, they were the envy of every couple in love, the model romantic couple often fuelled wedding rumours. Ah, the wonders of modern relationships! In normal circumstance, any separation between a couple, and the fingers are pointed at - interference by in-laws, work schedules, the partner's inability to know the difference between a wok and a spatula. And lastly, of course, a few believers blame the stars. And that’s what, they say, happened in Malaika and Arjun’s case - it wasn’t boredom or differing life goals - just that the star signs didn’t match. Astrologically incompatible.

 

 

Ho hum! The cynical me rolled my eyes so far I was able to see my own zodiac ruling planet and a few others too. Six years of ‘Astrological Incompatibility!’ Hard to believe. Let us for a minute believe that they were doomed by their star signs - how did they then manage to last six years, is my question. In celebrity years, to be in a relationship for six years is practically a lifetime. It’s not a casual fling. Just as normal people often do - match the horoscopes before getting hooked, the duo could easily afford to have their horoscopes read by renowned astrologers, consulted tarot card readers, and the likes. But they didn’t, they fell in love and lived with each other for more than half a decade. If their zodiac signs were such a dealbreaker, shouldn’t Mercury in retrograde have caused many obstacles, leading to irreconcilable differences right in the beginning of the relationship? After all, the wise have always indicated the strong and immediate ‘prakop’ of non-matching signs. Normal, boring people like you and me, even if we cannot see eye to eye with our partners, we plod through the ‘till death do us part’ - because for us any relationship isn’t just about romantic compatibility. It’s a crash course in patience, compromise and getting to know the quirks, the idiosyncrasies and the good points of your partner, little by little, and accepting all the life choices to ensure that the journey is smooth.

 

All these issues that we face, surely are more about dealing intelligently with real-life quirks than just planetary alignments. So even as we were discussing this, a friend quipped in - ‘they separated because they were bored of each other.’ Maybe, for relationships, even glamorous celebrity ones, can be hard work. In fact, for celebrity couples, it’s hard work raised to the power ‘n’. Because of all the pressure on them to keep the fans happy, the paparazzi happy, they always have to prove that they are the much ‘in love’ couple. But then that they got bored also sounds logical. For after six years, the spark can dim. In normal cases, as time passes, it’s less about candlelit dinners and more about arguing over who gets control of the remote in the house. We adjust, the celebrity couple, like the ones we are talking about go in for a clean break, and remain ‘good friends’ thereafter. We all go through highs and lows in our relationships. And we all know that over time, the quirks that you found adorable in your partner can turn to be super irritating. Maybe Malaika finally got tired of Arjun leaving the wet towel on the bed, maybe Arjun couldn’t handle her obsession with her gym workout in super skimpy clothes, leaving little to imagination. Who knows? But blaming the breakup on their zodiac signs feels like giving the stars far too much credit. But since we are talking about stars playing a role here, who decides that Scorpio and Cancer, two water signs known for their intense emotions, can’t make it work? I read somewhere that Cancerians are supposed to be nurturing and loyal, while those born under the sign Scorpio are passionate and fiercely committed? By that logic, they should’ve been the celestial version of peanut butter and jelly.

 

If star signs were that accurate, half of us, with 36 matching gunns would have lived ‘happily ever after’ in heavenly marital bliss. Do we? A non-believer, I always find myself at loggerheads with friends who swear by Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs and Star Signs. I feel astrology is great fun for party conversations or deciding which colour kurti to wear on a Tuesday, but using it to explain a breakup of six-year-long relationship is a stretch by any imagination. Breakups happen for a million reasons: growing apart, mismatched priorities, or maybe even the pressure of the public eye. But the zodiac? Relationships are super complicated, and blaming the stars is a convenient way to avoid the truth. To be honest, instead of analysing their birth charts, maybe we should applaud them for sticking it out for six years. That’s no small feat, especially in a world where people break up over the wrong type of avocado toast. They probably broke up for the same reasons the rest of us do: life happened, love changed, and one day they woke up and realised they wanted different things. Most are brave enough to continue living under the same roof, some break off.

 

Fault doesn’t lie in our stars - so let’s not play the Rahu Ketu game and pin the blame on them. Compatibility, I feel, isn’t about star signs; it’s about mutual respect, shared goals, and figuring out who’ll be doing the dishes when the maid is on leave. If at all I have taken away anything from this - it is that even the glamorous relationships are just as messy, human, and unpredictable as what the lesser mortals can experience. So let’s leave the stars out of it and just wish them both happiness- for future relationships -preferably without any astrological disclaimers. n